Black Dynamite (2009)
Byron Minns: Bullhorn
Quotes
-
Bullhorn : Man, you guys ain't had no waffles like these. These waffles are so good, they're like they come from down South. These buttery motherfuckers will melt in your mouth. Man you ain't had no waffles...
Black Dynamite : Wait! Bullhorn, what did you just say? You said, 'Melts in your mouth'. Quick...
[erases the restaurant menu blackboard]
Black Dynamite : What else melts in your mouth?
Cream Corn : M&M's!
Black Dynamite : Exactly. And not in your hands. And who makes M&M's?
Militant #3 : Mars Candy Company make it. Yeah, yeah.
Black Dynamite : And Mars is also...
Saheed : The Roman God of War.
Black Dynamite : Who is the Greek God of War?
Militant 2 : Ares.
Black Dynamite : Now, you take Mars and spell it backwards, drop the S.
Cream Corn : Ram. That's right. And ram is the zodialogical sign for Aries. Oh! Now dig. Ares' half-sister is Athena.
Black Dynamite : Now you're getting it.
Cream Corn : Whoa, whoa, whoa. Athena, Athens.
Saheed : Which is the capital of Greece.
Black Dynamite : And as we all know, zodialogical astronomy was created by the Greeks in...
Cream Corn , Saheed , Militant 2 , Militant #3 : 785 B.C.
Militant 2 : And 785 is the area code to Topeka. Oh, my God. 785 is the area code to Topeka, Kansas!
Bullhorn , Cream Corn , Saheed , Militant 2 , Militant #3 : Code Kansas!
Black Dynamite : Now take that, spell it backwards and drop the S.
Militant #3 : Snake doc. Snake doctor, yeah!
Black Dynamite : Yes. And brothers, who is the Greek Demigod of Medicine who believed that snakes' tongues had mystical healing powers?
Cream Corn : Aesculapius, of course. He had a staff with snakes intertwining all around that bitch. They called it Aesculapius' staff. It's a symbol the medical field uses to this day.
Black Dynamite : Now, what legend involving snakes is in both Greek and Roman mythology? Now, come on. It involves Aesculapius' own father.
Woman at table : Apollo.
Black Dynamite : Yeah. Thanks, lady.
-
Bullhorn : You know he came around here about a week ago, with some cats that I had never seen before. Man, I mean these cats looked mean! Meaner than two fat motherfuckers wrestling over pork chops and greens, can you dig it?
-
Bullhorn : Oh, you's a corn-fed fool with a lot of muscle mass. But it's time for Bullhorn to get up in that ass!
[Bullhorn proceeds to land a chop on the thug, which is blocked. He then punches the thug in the midsection. He blocks a punch and slaps the thug in the face]
Thug #1 : [breaking character and becoming angry because he was actually slapped] Motherfucker!
[Scene cuts to a retake of the fight scene, only with the thug replaced with a stunt double. Bullhorn punches the thug in the face before landing multiple punches to the chest and a kick to the face]
Bullhorn : Let everybody know and suckers be warned that this is the outcome when you mess with Bullhorn!
-
[Black Dynamite and his gang break into Gunsmoke's apartment and discover him in shock after seeing his penis shrunk]
Black Dynamite : Anaconda Malt Liquor gives you a little dick! Should we kill him?
Bullhorn : [Pulls out his gun and points it at Gunsmoke's penis] Man, do you want to live? I said, do you want to go on?
[Bullhorn shoots Gunsmoke's penis to end his misery]
Bullhorn : Man, this time, these crackers have gone too far!
-
[From trailer]
Bullhorn : He drives a five thousand dollar car and wears a hundred dollar suit!
-
Bullhorn : [From trailer] If you crave satisfaction, then see this action! Guaranteed to put yo' ass in traction! Last, black, stack, attackin' mack. Back track, slap jack, boot black, flash back, ram sack, jam packin' and still comin' back!
-
Bullhorn : Go get Chicago Wind before he disappears. I'll take care of this gorilla eatin' goon here!
