- Ted Mosby: A toast, to Mitch. By the sum of his parts, he's just a man. But with what he does with those parts, he becomes so much more. He may not fit society's definition of a hero, but he is the hero I needed. The hero who helped me recover the disaster of my failed almost marriage and back into the game. He lives in the shadows. Is he a dream? Truth? Fiction? Damnation? Salvation? He is all these things, and none of them. For he is... "The Naked Man."
- Barney Stinson: The Naked Man is going to revolutionize the one-night stand. It's like the forward pass in football, the slam dunk in basketball, the technique in hair cutting where you put the hair between two fingers and you cut from the top - It's a total game changer!
- Barney Stinson: [Adding to Lily's list of reasons to have sex] Curiosity. As in what would it be like to do it with a really tall girl. Not a big girl, a tall girl. Like if a normal girl were seven, seven-and-a-half feet tall, and had a very short denim skirt, I would have to know what that was like.
- Ted Mosby: There is no way that will work on Robin. She'll just laugh at him and throw him out.
- Lily Aldrin: [laughs] Maybe she'll kick his ass first.
- Marshall Eriksen: [laughs] Maybe she'll shoot him with her gun.
- [All stop laughing and run out the door]
- Barney Stinson: All these years, I have been busting my hump with my secret identities and my tricks and my gadgets. I mean, I'm like Batman. But this Mitch fellow? He's Superman. He just rips off his clothes and he's good to go.
- Robin Scherbatsky: Are you wearing make-up?
- Ted Mosby: It's not make-up, ok? It's a sunscreen with a subtle tint...
- [Everyone looks at him mockingly]
- Ted Mosby: It's made for men!
- [They keep looking]
- Ted Mosby: Sue me! I want my eyes to pop!