- Dwayne F. Schneider: [Ann and Mark are trying to convince Schneider that it's OK to ask Alex to go with him to the Lodge Father-Son night] You don't ask a kid who's just lost his own father, not that long ago, to go to a Father-and-Son Night with another guy who's not even his own father.
- Ann Romano: Awww, come on, Schneider, Alex likes being with you. He loves when you take him fishing, and camping...
- Mark Royer: Yeah, and how about all the advice about the ladies?
- Ann Romano: Yeah. I've heard some of that advice. No father can warp a boy's thinking any better than you do.
- Dwayne F. Schneider: A'right, let me tell you somethin', OK Ms Romano, now a lot-a kids Alex's age, they gotta get all their mis-information outta the gutter, but not Alex. He's got me.