In Sickness and in Health (TV Series)

Episode #6.3 (1992)

Warren Mitchell: Alf Garnett

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Alf is cursing as he attempts to cut his toenails] 

  Mrs. Hollingbery : [entering]  Who are you swearing at?

  Alf Garnett : This bloody toe I'm trying to cut; it wont let me.

  [he sits down, exasparated] 

  Alf Garnett : I dont know... I dont know why we have to have bloody nails, I mean what use are they?

  Mrs. Hollingbery : Well I wouldnt want to be without mine.

  Alf Garnett : Look I'm not talking about fingernails, I'm talking about toenails, int I?

  Mrs. Hollingbery : What's the difference?

  Alf Garnett : Whooo, blimey! You'd soon see the difference if you had to have these growing out your fingers!

  Mrs. Hollingbery : I wouldn't want them growing out the end of my toes even.

  Alf Garnett : I don't know why they have to keep on growing, I mean nothing else is growing on me. Everything else has *stopped* growing, I mean why can't your bloody nails stopped growing?

  Mrs. Hollingbery : Your hair's stopped growing.

  Alf Garnett : Shut up. What do you want anyway?

  Mrs. Hollingbery : Well I come down to see if you'd help me hang a picture up.

  Alf Garnett : Oh gordon bennett! I'm old int I? I'm 75 abouts, I'm not a young man anymore! You want me to risk accident climbing up a ladder hanging pictures?

  Mrs. Hollingbery : No. You wont have accident. No. It's a holy picture. It's been blessed.

  Alf Garnett : Well if it's been blessed it should be able to hang itself, shouldn't it?

• Alf Garnett : Bloody government. Don't give a stuff for old people they don't. Gotta fend for yourself, intcha? Oh yeah, save the children, save the whales, save the wildlife, save this, save that... nothing about save the old, is there, huh? If I had AIDS, they'd be having bloody concert parties for me then!