- Mother: You're an impostor!
- Alf Garnett: What are you talking about? Impostor! There's no such thing as Father Christmas, ya bloody silly cow!
- Alf Garnett: That's woman, innit! I mean when God created woman he didn't bother to give her a brain, did he? Well not much of a one anyway. Just one big enough to understand man and to do his will for him.
- Mrs. Hollingbery: You are rude to people.
- Alf Garnett: So are you.
- Mrs. Hollingbery: Not to their face.
- Alf Garnett: Who does?
- Mrs. Hollingbery: You do! You got no respect for peoples feelings.
- [to Rita]
- Mrs. Hollingbery: He comes right out with it. Whatever he thinks about anyone he says it. While they're standing there. Oo it's very embarrassing. I dont know where to put myself sometimes. At least if I want to talk about someone I have the decency to wait until they've left the room.
- Alf Garnett: Not with me ya don't. You say what you think about me to my face.
- Mrs. Hollingbery: Well you're different. You don't matter.
- Alf Garnett: God created the english to run the world for him didnt he? He put the english here first.
- Winston: The english was not here first!
- Arthur: No, no. Moses was here first, Alf.
- Alf Garnett: Hearsay.
- Arthur: No. It's in the good book.
- Alf Garnett: You cant believe everything you read in books, Arthur!