- Nick Anderson: How's your interview?
- Ashley Matthews: Don't ask.
- Nick Anderson: Well, I already asked. I can't un-ask.
- Ashley Matthews: Well, first, while I'm halfway through my shower the water goes out AGAIN. So I have to wash my hair out in Dash's water bowl, so I'm running late and I smell like dog-water. I get to my car and, of course, it doesn't start so I have to run and catch the bus and while I'm running I literally collide with some random guy, lose my phone so I don't get the call that the positions already been taken and I don't need to get on the bus to the interview I'm already late for.
- Nick Anderson: [Chuckles] You washed your hair in dog-water.
- Ashley Matthews: [Chuckles] I'm so glad you focus on the important things.
- Will Price: It's less of a question, more of an invitation, um... do you wanna go out sometime?
- Ashley Matthews: I don't think that's such a good idea.
- Will Price: For you or for me? Or for both of us?
- Ashley Matthews: Both of us. Yeah.
- Will Price: Why is there something wrong with you?
- Ashley Matthews: What?
- Will Price: No-I'm, ha, that came out wrong. Um...
- Ashley Matthews: Is there something wrong with you?
- Will Price: That's a very valid point.
- [chuckles]
- Will Price: Uh, you know in the interest of full disclosure I haven't had a girlfriend for six months and I'm kinda hostile towards women, plus my ex girlfriend she did a number on my head and -
- [Ashley looks uncomfortable]
- Will Price: I'm over-sharing.
- [Chuckles]
- Will Price: I sound a little pathetic here, don't I?
- Ashley Matthews: Yeah, a little. But, you know, I'm probably worse so it's okay.
- Will Price: Is that a yes?
- Ashley Matthews: What? No! No, I... what's your angle?
- Will Price: Angle? I don't have an angle. I just wanna take you out.
- Ashley Matthews: Occupation?
- Will Price: Journalist. Modern Business Weekly.
- Ashley Matthews: Oh. Never heard of it.
- Will Price: Okay.
- Ashley Matthews: How do you feel about Christmas?
- Will Price: I LOVE Christmas.
- Ashley Matthews: [Ashley looks annoyed] Okay. How do you feel about the Little Drummer Boy?
- Will Price: Song or person?
- Ashley Matthews: Person then song.
- Will Price: Both needless.
- Ashley Matthews: Okay. But if I'm gonna go out with you it has to be sooner than later.
- Will Price: Why?
- Ashley Matthews: Because if not... I'll talk myself out of it.
- Will Price: Okay, how about sometime next week?
- Ashley Matthews: More like tomorrow?
- Will Price: Oh! No, yeah, I can swing that. How 'bout around...
- Ashley Matthews: Seven?
- Will Price: Seven. Yeah, and, oh we can go over to...
- Ashley Matthews: Right here?
- [nods to restaraunt]
- Will Price: Here!
- Ashley Matthews: Okay.
- Will Price: Okay.
- Ashley Matthews: Bye.
- Will Price: I'll see you tomorrow. Huh.
- Francine: You guys know each other?
- Will Price: Yeah.
- Ashley Matthews: No.
- Will Price: We go way back.
- Ashley Matthews: We met yesterday.
- Francine: [to Ashley] If I were you, I'd run.
- Will Price: I think Ashley can decide for herself who she sees.
- Ashley Matthews: Oh, I'm not seeing anyone.
- Will Price: [digging in to chili] This looks good.
- Ashley Matthews: I live for this stuff.
- Will Price: [takes a bite] Mm, this is good. It's not really hot for 3 Alarm Chili.
- Ashley Matthews: Give it some time.
- Will Price: So how do you know Nick?
- Ashley Matthews: Do you want me to see if he can have dinner with you?
- Will Price: No. I'm sorry. It's just I get, I get curious and um-
- [starts coughing as the chili kicks in]
- Will Price: Holy cow this is hot.
- Ashley Matthews: [Chuckling] Are you okay?
- Will Price: Mm, it's just...
- [gasping & coughing]
- Will Price: How is your mouth not burning?
- Ashley Matthews: You all right?
- Will Price: [strained speaking] Yeah, no, I'm good. It's good chili, though.
- Will Price: I'm gonna be honest with you, next time I'm totally ordering something different.
- Ashley Matthews: 3 Alarm Chili. You didn't think it would be hot?
- Will Price: Good, I thought you'd object to a next time.
- Ashley Matthews: I really thought you were interested in me.
- Will Price: I am interested in you.
- Ashley Matthews: You are more interested in the story.
- Will Price: Can I not be interested in both?
- Ashley Matthews: No. Because if you were interested in me you'd see why you shouldn't write this story.
- Will Price: Can I ask you a few questions?
- Nick Anderson: I wanna ask you a few questions.
- Will Price: Okay.
- Nick Anderson: Where you from?
- Will Price: Michigan.
- Nick Anderson: Where'd you go to school?
- Will Price: Northwestern.
- Nick Anderson: You like writing?
- Will Price: I love it.
- Nick Anderson: You like Ashley?
- Will Price: Ye-She's a very nice girl.
- Nick Anderson: Nice girl. She's terrific.
- Will Price: She's a little hardheaded.
- Nick Anderson: Who isn't?
- Will Price: Yeah. I like her.
- Nick Anderson: She likes you. Otherwise she wouldn't have let you in as far as she has.
- Will Price: You think so?
- Nick Anderson: Oh yeah. Yeah.
- Will Price: To be honest with you, sometimes she won't even look at me.
- Nick Anderson: You're not very intuitive for a reporter are ya? The reason she won't look at you is she's afraid if she does... she'll melt.
- Nick Anderson: No, I don't want you to keep Will waiting.
- Ashley Matthews: He can wait.
- Nick Anderson: How long are you going to keep him away?
- Ashley Matthews: Uh, as long as possible.
- Nick Anderson: Yeah, well you keeping waiting you're going to miss something special.
- Ashley Matthews: You know, I think the guy with my phone tried to ask me out.
- Nick Anderson: Did you try to say yes?
- Stan: What'll you have?
- Will Price: Oh, um
- [picks up menu then sets it down]
- Will Price: You know what, I'll have whatever she's having.
- Stan: [Stan and Ashley share a look. Then to Will:] Are you sure?
- Will Price: [Uncertain] Uh, yeah?
- Stan: Okay then. I'll get those right out to you.
- Will Price: [to Ashley after Stan leaves] What are we having?
- Ashley Matthews: Stan's 3 Alarm Chili.
- Will Price: Perfect.
- Will Price: Is that Santa's list?
- Ashley Matthews: Uh, yeah. And you're not on it.
- Will Price: Oh! Neither are you.
- Ashley Matthews: Grow up.
- Will Price: We are in a toy store.
- Nick Anderson: So how'd it go today?
- Ashley Matthews: [hesitantly] Oh, you know. It went pretty good.
- Nick Anderson: Pretty good?
- Ashley Matthews: I don't know how to tell you this so I'm just gonna say it. Uh, that reporter you got a phone call about, the one who wants to write a story on you, and who I accidentally went out with, uh... he's helping me.
- Nick Anderson: Well that's interesting.
- Ashley Matthews: I couldn't do it alone. And he knows how it works now. He wants to interview you. I'm sorry. Nick, say something.
- Nick Anderson: You like him, don't ya?
- Ashley Matthews: Do not.
- [Nick laughs]
- Will Price: It's okay.
- Ashley Matthews: How is it okay?
- Will Price: It's not. It's just something people say.
- Ashley Matthews: Sledding?
- Will Price: Yep!
- Ashley Matthews: Why?
- Will Price: Well, Nick said you didn't have a very normal childhood so...
- Ashley Matthews: So you thought... sledding.
- Will Price: Have you ever been?
- Ashley Matthews: No.
- Will Price: Well stop complaining and hop on.
- Ashley Matthews: Um, is this thing safe?
- Will Price: Of course. You ready?
- Ashley Matthews: No.
- Will Price: Good.
- Will Price, Ashley Matthews: It's your turn.
- Will Price: I took him for a walk yesterday.
- Ashley Matthews: Mm-hm. Then why are you getting up?
- Will Price: Guilt?
- Ashley Matthews: [Dash enters bedroom wanting his morning walk and whining] Dash! I am not getting up until the alarm goes off.
- [the alarm clock immediately sounds]
- Ashley Matthews: Morning, Nick.
- Nick Anderson: Morning, Ashley. Get your Christmas tree yet?
- Ashley Matthews: [Chuckles] It's barely December.
- Nick Anderson: Yeah, well. Nothing wrong with getting a jump start. Only comes once a year.
- Ashley Matthews: So does hurricane season.
- Francine: You selfish, conniving jerk!
- Will Price: Francine! Good morning. I see we're picking up right where we left off.
- Francine: You just can resist the chance to slander someone.
- Will Price: Ooo, fancy lawyer talk. Actually, counselor, slander is verbal. Liable is written.
- Francine: Fine. Liable. Don't get me sidetracked.
- Will Price: Too easy.
- Francine: Have you even heard one word I've said.
- Will Price: Not really. I've gotten very good at tuning you out.
- Will Price: Is Forcelink crying?
- Bob: Do they have a reason to?
- Will Price: [Smiling] Well, every time I write an article somebody cries.
- Ashley Matthews: Hi, I'm Ashley Matthews. I have an interview with, um...
- Law Office Receptionist: The positions been filled. We called you this morning.
- Ashley Matthews: Oh, I don't-I don't think you did. Are-are you sure?
- Law Office Receptionist: We called.
- Ashley Matthews: Because I have my cellphone right here and I would've heard it ring...
- Law Office Receptionist: Do you think arguing about this gonna change the fact that the jobs already taken?
- Ashley Matthews: Mrs. Hendrix, I don't have any running water in my apartment and it seems to go out at the worst times.
- Mrs. Hendrix: Oh, maybe it'll come back on again then.
- Ashley Matthews: Have you seen this pile? It will take a fortune to help all these people. Where do you get the money?
- [off his look she teases]
- Ashley Matthews: You ARE dealing drugs.
- Nick Anderson: I'll let you in on a secret. But you mustn't tell anybody.
- Ashley Matthews: Okay.
- Nick Anderson: I'm rich.
- Ashley Matthews: How rich?
- Nick Anderson: Filthy.
- Ashley Matthews: If you're so rich why do you still live here?
- Nick Anderson: Well a roof's a roof. I'm warm, I'm dry. I'm good.
- Ashley Matthews: [to Will] I'm just making this up as I go so you'll have to wait and see.
- Fast Food Restaraunt Guy: Can I help you?
- Ashley Matthews: Yes, can I get fifty burgers To-go, please?
- Will Price: [surprised] Fifty!
- Fast Food Restaraunt Guy: Fifty?
- Ashley Matthews: Five-zero, To-go.