True Blood (TV Series)

Shake and Fingerpop (2009)

Ryan Kwanten: Jason Stackhouse

Photos 

Quotes 

• Luke McDonald : [after scaring Jason]  How's that lip?

  Jason Stackhouse : It's OK. How's your nose?

  Luke McDonald : Uh?

  [is punched by Jason] 

  Jason Stackhouse : Vampires are not a joke! There's a war goin' on and you're either on the dark side or you're on the side of the light! And there ain't no in between!

• Jason Stackhouse : Evil is makin' the pre-medicated choice to be a dick.

• Jason Stackhouse : I don't know who Lazarus was, but he sure as hell was not the first vampire. Everybody knows it was Dracula.

  Luke McDonald : It's in the Bible, moron. Jesus brought Lazarus back from the dead.

  Jason Stackhouse : So Jesus made the first vampire? Maybe Jesus *was* the first vampire. I mean, he rose from the dead too. And he told people, "Hey, y'all, drink my blood. It'll give you special powers".

  Luke McDonald : Jesus never said that.

  Dirk : No, the first vampire was Cain. Being a vampire is the mark of Cain. It's God's punishment for bringing the first evil into the world by killing his brother.

  Luke McDonald : The first evil was Eve eating the apple. That's why they call it "Eve-il".

• Luke McDonald : There's one thing you can count on: God will make sure evil gets punished.

  Jason Stackhouse : Then explain Europe to me.