- Tyler Galpin: [about birthdays] Come on. Don't you like a day that's all about you?
- Wednesday Addams: Every day is all about me. This one just comes with cake and a bad song
- Marilyn Thornhill: I think we're a lot alike.
- Wednesday Addams: We aren't. I don't need your help or your pity. I already have a mother and a therapist.
- Wednesday Addams: In case you're wondering, I don't hold séances very often. I can barely tolerate the living. Why would I want to commune with the dead?
- Wednesday Addams: I was reaching into the black maw of death to contact a relative.
- Enid Sinclair: Feels very on-brand for you.
- Enid Sinclair: Everyone deserves to be celebrated on their birthday.
- Wednesday Addams: I prefer to be vilified.
- Sheriff Donovan Galpin: Your father and I buried the hatchet. Maybe you should do the same.
- Wednesday Addams: I don't bury hatchets. I sharpen them.
- Principal Larissa Weems: How do you end up at the center of every terrible thing that happens here?
- Wednesday Addams: Incredible luck.
- Marilyn Thornhill: [after a hit and run] Are you all right? I... I can't imagine witnessing something like that.
- Wednesday Addams: It was on my bucket list.
- Enid Sinclair: Who doesn't have a spooky built-in altar in their family library?
- Wednesday Addams: Ours is in the living room. More seating for year-long Dia de los Muertos.