Barney's Version (2010)
Paul Giamatti: Barney Panofsky
Photos
Quotes
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Barney Panofsky : ...and I'm just gonna keep talking here, 'cause I'm afraid that if I stop there's gonna be a pause or a break and you're gonna say 'It's getting late' or 'I should get going', and I'm not ready for that to happen. I don't want that to happen. Ever.
[they pause]
Miriam : There it was. The pause.
Barney Panofsky : Yeah.
Miriam : I'm still here.
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Miriam : We can be friends now, can't we?
Barney Panofsky : No. We can't.
Miriam : I'm here for you if you'll let me. We had a beautiful marriage, but it's over. I want you to be at peace with that.
Barney Panofsky : Have I ever given up when it comes to you?
Miriam : Never.
Barney Panofsky : So what makes you think I would start now?
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Miriam : We were just gonna throw some burgers on the barbecue. Do you want to join us?
Blair : I'm a vegan. But thank you.
Barney Panofsky : A what? Is that treatable?
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Barney Panofsky : Should I sleep on the sofa?
Miriam : Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You're not sleeping on the sofa, we don't sleep apart. Good night.
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Miriam : Really? Well, words matter. Actions matter. They have consequences. If you want people to take you seriously, then act accordingly. Do you understand me, Barney?
Barney Panofsky : Yes
Miriam : What am I saying?
Barney Panofsky : Be great in act, as you have in thought
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Barney Panofsky : Don't ever tell my father what he can or cannot do again.
2nd Mrs. P's Father : He traumatized the Rabbi's wife...
Barney Panofsky : I don't care if he fingered her under the table. He's my father and he'll have your respect.
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[first lines]
Blair : Hello?
Barney Panofsky : Blair, I'd like to speak with my wife.
Blair : Oh, Barney, it's 3:00 in the morning.
Barney Panofsky : Put my wife on the phone.
Blair : She's not your wife and I'm not waking her.
Barney Panofsky : All right. Well, then just ask her what she wants me to do with all these nude photos I have of her. Ah, come to think of it, you actually might want them, if only to see what Miriam looked like in her prime.
Blair : [hangs up]
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Barney Panofsky : For the first time in my life, I am truly in love.
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Miriam : Are you out of your mind?
Barney Panofsky : No! I'm bent over backwards in love!
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Barney Panofsky : This is the paternal wisdom I'm gonna get?
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Barney Panofsky : So you fucked her?
Boogie : It was the only thing that would shut her up.
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Dr. Morty : What kind of car do you drive?
Barney Panofsky : Morty, that's fucking embarrassing.
Dr. Morty : Just answer it.
Barney Panofsky : A... you know, goddamn it... it's German... I can't even find the fucking thing. Why should I care what it's called?