- John Monroe: There are two things that a wife can't stand. A husband coming home early, or a husband coming home late. Or one other thing: A husband coming home in the middle of the day.
- Ellen Monroe: What happened, Lydia? What's wrong?
- Lydia Monroe: I've left school, and I'm not going back till they change my seat.
- Ellen Monroe: Why do you want to change your seat?
- Lydia Monroe: I sit in front of Johnny Bascome. He copies my work, pulls my hair, and he didn't send me a Valentine.
- John Monroe: Well, Lydia, life is fraught with minor discomforts.
- Lydia Monroe: Goodbye, Daddy. Tell mother this is nothing personal.
- John Monroe: I expect someday they'll say that about World War II.
- Ellen Monroe: Well, John, the road to hell is paved...
- John Monroe: Oh, yes, yes, now I know. Haven't you learned yet not to quote one writer to another? It's bad form.
- John Monroe: Miss Skidmore, I appeal to your sense of compromise. Now, unless my daughter is removed from the disturbing influence of Johnny Bascome, well, then I'm afraid that Yale '77 is a meaningless phrase, a hollow promise, an empty sweater.
- John Monroe: Apparently there's a god for cartoonists and writers. And heaven knows we needed one.
- [looking upward]
- John Monroe: You have my thanks.