The Lorax (2012)

Ed Helms: The Once-ler

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Quotes 

• Ted : So this *is* really all your fault. You destroyed everything.

  Once-ler : Yes. And each day since the Lorax left, I've sat here regretting everything I've done. Staring at that word, "unless", and wondering what it meant. But now I'm thinking... well, maybe you're the reason the Lorax left that word there.

  Ted : Me? Why would he leave that for me?

  Once-ler : Because unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not.

• Once-ler : It's a girl, isn't it?

  Ted : What? No!

  Once-ler : Really. Because when a guy does something stupid once, well, that's because he's guy. But he does the same stupid thing twice, that's usually to impress some girl.

• The Lorax : Which way does a tree fall?

  Once-ler : Uh... down?

  The Lorax : A tree falls the way it leans. Be careful which way you lean.

• Once-ler : The last Truffula seed. You need to plant it, Ted.

  Ted : Yeah, but... nobody cares about trees anymore.

  Once-ler : Then make them care. Plant the seed in the middle of town, where everyone can see. Change the way things are. I know it may seem small and insignificant, but it's not about what it is, it's about what it can become. That's not just a seed... any more than you're just a boy.

• Once-ler : Why are you so interested in trees, anyway? Why aren't you like other kids? Breakdancing and wearing bellbottoms and playing the Donkey Kongs?

  Ted : [laughs]  Yeah. Right, right. I don't know. Uh, I just thought it might be kinda cool to have one.

  Once-ler : [knowingly]  Uh-huh. It's a girl, isn't it?

  Ted : [scoffs]  What? No!

  Once-ler : Really? Because when a guy does something stupid once, well that's because he's a guy. But if he does the same stupid thing twice, that's usually to impress some girl.

  Ted : Hey, she is not just some girl! She's a woman. In high school. And she loves trees. And I'm gonna get her one.

  Once-ler : Awww. How nice to see someone so undeterred by things like reality.

  Ted : Thank you.

• Once-ler : It all started a long time ago.

  Ted : Can we start not so long ago, maybe?

  Once-ler : Do you want a tree?

  Ted : Yes, yes.

  Once-ler : Then it all started a long, *long* time ago.

• Once-ler : Whoa, whoa, whoa! You wouldn't hit a woman.

  The Lorax : Hoo! That's a woman?

• Once-ler : Unless someone like you cares an awful lot, things aren't going to get better. They're not.

  Ted : You do know that you are talking in rhyme, don't you?

• Once-ler : [whispers]  Thank you, Ted.

• Once-ler : You wanna know about trees? About what happened to them? They're gone.

  [sadly] 

  Once-ler : It's because of me.

  Ted : Huh?

  [a Whisper-ma-Phone chutes down to Ted. Ted leans in to hear] 

  Once-ler : [shouts]  IT'S BECAUSE OF ME!

• The Lorax : [first meets Once-ler]  Hey!

  [Once-ler screams and falls backwards] 

  The Lorax : Did you chop down this tree?

  Once-ler : Uhh... No.

  The Lorax : Who did it?

  Once-ler : [gasps]  What's that?

  [the Lorax looks back and Once-ler drops his ax on Pipsqueak the Bar-ba-loot] 

  Once-ler : I think he did it.

  The Lorax : [growls]  Leave! Vacate the premises! Take your ax and get out!

  Once-ler : And who are you?

  The Lorax : Hey, hey! I-I'm the Lorax! Guardian of the forest. I speak for the trees.

  [doesn't get a reaction from Once-ler] 

  The Lorax : So you're telling me, that you didn't see me magically appear out of that stump. With all the thunder and lightning. You didn't see any of that?

  Once-ler : No. But, that sounds amazing. Can I see some of that?

  The Lorax : Yeah, I could show you. But that's not how it works.

• Once-ler : [after being pulled from the river and revived by the Lorax]  Now, I have a big day tomorrow, so I am going to get some sleep.

  [walks off, but comes back and walks in the opposite direction] 

  Once-ler : Once I find my bed.

• Once-ler : [admiring his first thneed]  Now that's a thneed! Nothing unmanly about knitting. No sir!