- DCI John Barnaby: [Referring to the decapitated Dalgleish] So, uh, starting with the obvious, did this Dalgleish have any enemies?
- DCI Tom Barnaby: God. John, he had *only* enemies.
- DCI John Barnaby: So he won't be missed?
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Heh, no. They'll be dancing in the streets.
- DCI John Barnaby: [Sarcastically] Log it as a shaving accident then.
- DCI John Barnaby: [about Lady Matilda] Talk about dinosaurs.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Yeah, got one in every village, John. They deter social change.
- DCI John Barnaby: That one would deter evolution.
- Jenny Russell: I'd be better off if I ran this place as a knocking shop.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: You'd be a wonderful madam.
- Jenny Russell: Freebies for coppers, of course.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Oh, how public spirited.
- Rev Giles Shawcross: [Turning to Barnaby, who is sitting next to him on the bus] Have you ever been really terrified?
- DCI Tom Barnaby: [Tongue-in-cheek] Not until now, Giles.
- Lady Matilda William: [Reacting to a proposal from Dalgleish] It's wrong. My God would say it's wrong.
- Hugh Dalgleish: Just as well you own his church then. Even if you can't afford his roof.
- Jenny Russell: [Yelling at her ex-husband Bill, whom she has thrown off the bus] And if I ever see you in Causton again, I'll chop your bits off.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Giles, how was the ghost train?
- Rev Giles Shawcross: Oh, as always, dark, godless, and reassuringly hellish.
- [walks away]
- DCI Tom Barnaby: [to John] Our local optimist.
- [last lines]
- Lady Matilda William: Well, things to be done. Duties. Always duties. You will excuse us.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Lady Matilda.
- Lady Matilda William: Come along, Richard. People to visit; gardens to tend.
- Rev Giles Shawcross: That ruined pier... says a thousand things.
- Lady Matilda William: Like what?
- Rev Giles Shawcross: Well, the futility of man's efforts at self-aggrandisement, moral decline...
- Lady Matilda William: Says the pier burnt down. Good God, no wonder the church is empty! Now, go find Marcia and tell her I want a cup of tea.
- DC Gail Stephens: What you got there?
- DS Ben Jones: Couple of years ago the Governor suspected Mayor Hicks of a dodgy property deal, so he's kept this file on him. Complaints mainly. Wants me to search for anything interesting.
- DC Gail Stephens: He's obsessed.
- DS Ben Jones: No. Just sick of petty corruption downtown. And obsessed.
- DS Ben Jones: [to the uncooperative bank manager] The Law, Mr Perkins, is like The Bible. You can always find one quote to contradict another.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: [When Jenny asks a favor of Barnaby and puts her hand on his kneee, he removes it] It's not really my area.
- Hugh Dalgleish: Hello, Marcia. Lady Bracknell at home, is she?
- Marcia Macintyre: [stiffly] I believe Matilda's expecting you.
- Hugh Dalgleish: Jolly good. You be careful. Don't crack a smile or anything.
- Rev Giles Shawcross: It's all cyclical. Goes around, comes around. Goes around, comes around. No one learns. No one cares.