The Vampire Diaries (TV Series)
Pilot (2009)
Steven R. McQueen: Jeremy Gilbert
Photos
Quotes
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Elena Gilbert : Great. It's the first day of school and you're stoned.
Jeremy Gilbert : No, I'm not.
Elena Gilbert : Where is it? Is it on you?
Jeremy Gilbert : [she starts searching his pockets] Stop, all right? You need to chill yourself, all right?
Elena Gilbert : Chill myself? What is that, stoner talk? Dude, you are so cool.
Jeremy Gilbert : Look, stop! I don't have anything on me. Are you crazy?
Elena Gilbert : You haven't seen crazy, Jeremy! I gave you a summer pass, but I am done watching you destroy yourself.
[stopping him as he tries to leave]
Elena Gilbert : No, no, no, you know what? Go ahead. Keep it up. But just know that I am going to be there to ruin your buzz every time, you got it?
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Jeremy Gilbert : Hey, what's your deal? I mean, summer you act one way, and then school starts and you can't be bothered.
Vicki Donovan : Look, Jeremy, I really appreciate all the pharmaceuticals, but you can't keep following me around like a lost puppy.
Jeremy Gilbert : When's the last time you had sex with a puppy?
Vicki Donovan : Hey, keep it down. I don't want to tell the whole world I deflowered Elena's kid brother.
Jeremy Gilbert : Yeah, and deflowered and deflowered.
Vicki Donovan : We hooked up a few times in a drug haze. It's over. You gotta back off before you ruin things between me and Tyler.
Jeremy Gilbert : Oh, come on, the guy's a total douche. He only wants you for your ass.
Vicki Donovan : Yeah? What do you want me for?
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Vicki Donovan : I didn't need your help.
Jeremy Gilbert : It seems like you did.
Vicki Donovan : He was just drunk.
Jeremy Gilbert : I'm drunk. Am I throwing myself at you?
Vicki Donovan : No, you're worse. You want to talk to me, get to know me, see into my soul, and screw and screw and screw until you're done with me.
Jeremy Gilbert : Is that what you think?
Vicki Donovan : That's what I know.
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Jenna Sommers : Toast. I can make toast.
Elena Gilbert : It's all about the coffee, Aunt Jenna.
Jeremy Gilbert : [coming in] Is there coffee?
Jenna Sommers : Your first day of school and I'm totally unprepared. Lunch money?
Elena Gilbert : I'm good.
Jenna Sommers : [Jeremy takes a couple of bills] Anything else? A number-two pencil? What am I missing?
Elena Gilbert : Don't you have a big presentation today?
Jenna Sommers : I'm meeting with my thesis advisor at...
[checking her watch]
Jenna Sommers : Now. Crap!
Elena Gilbert : Then go. We'll be fine.
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Vicki Donovan : No, Ty. I'm not having sex against a tree.
Tyler Lockwood : Oh, come on, it would be hot.
Vicki Donovan : For who? No, it's not gonna happen. It's not gonna happen, not here, not like this. No. I-I said no! I said no! Ow, that hurts!
Jeremy Gilbert : Hey, leave her alone.
Tyler Lockwood : You know, you're starting to get on my nerves, Gilbert.
Vicki Donovan : Just go, Tyler. Get the hell away from me.
Tyler Lockwood : Wow. Vicki Donovan says no. That's a first.