Monk (TV Series)
Mr. Monk Is the Best Man (2009)
Jason Gray-Stanford: Lieutenant Randy Disher
Photos
Quotes
-
Lt. Randall Disher : [practicing his song that he will sing at Leland and T.K.'s wedding] "Cupid was a gun for hire. Took aim at Leland Stottlemeyer. Who's love was wallowed in the mire. We love you, TK Stottlemeyer! Mr. and Mrs. Stottlemeyerrr..."
Natalie Teeger : Sounds a little bit like "Light My Fire."
Lt. Randall Disher : What part?
Natalie Teeger : The words. And the music.
-
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Okay, we have a victim found in Colin Park. He was shot once and then burned.
Adrian Monk : I read the file, so where are we?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Still unidentified. Randy, what do we know about him?
Lt. Randall Disher : Well, we know he was... flammable. That's pretty much it.
-
Lt. Randall Disher : [walking in on Stottlemeyer, whose office floor is messy with lots of case files] So who's on your short list?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : I've been at this all morning. Most of these guys are either in jail or dead.
Lt. Randall Disher : Yeah, or both.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : No. Nobody is both.
-
[over a burned corpse found in the park]
Lt. Randall Disher : You all right?
Rookie Cop : [dry-heaving] Yes, sir. I'm sorry, Lieutenant, I've never seen anything like it. Think they killed him first?
Lt. Randall Disher : God, I hope so. Peters, any I.D. at all? Fingerprints, anything?
Forensic Tech : [grimacing] You need fingers for fingerprints.
-
[Stottlemeyer arrives at the crime scene]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : [singing] Heaven, I'm in heaven, and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak.
[to patrol officer]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : How you doin'?
[singing]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : And I finally found the happiness I seek...
[to another patrol officer]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Hey, there, Kevin, you look good! You losing weight? Good deal.
[singing]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : When we're up together, dancing cheek to cheek...
[to Disher]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : hey, I smell ribs!
Lt. Randall Disher : [grimacing] It is ribs.
-
Adrian Monk : You're not going to even ask him?
Natalie Teeger : No, Mr. Monk, it's crazy, don't mention it again.
Lt. Randall Disher : Hey, how you guys doing?
Natalie Teeger : Mr. Monk wants to walk TK's father down the aisle.
Adrian Monk : We're the exact same height. I mean, how often does that happen?
Natalie Teeger : Mr. Monk, I'm sure he'd like to walk his daughter down the aisle.
Adrian Monk : Well, she can walk behind us. Just ask him. I'm talking about the exact same height. Think how cool that would look.
-
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Whoever this guy is, he's ruining my life.
Lt. Randall Disher : Well, that's supposed to be my job.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Exactly.
-
Joy : And you are... a sweet little crocus - just a bud.
Lt. Randall Disher : Huh. I've always felt like a crocus! Yeah, I'm not kidding!
-
Lt. Randall Disher : Okay, here's your paycheck, and your expenses.
Natalie Teeger : All right. Who says crime doesn't pay?
-
Lt. Randall Disher : I'll send this down to the lab.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : We're in the lab.
Lt. Randall Disher : Then I'll just put it right there.
-
Lt. Randall Disher : Peters, any ID at all? Fingerprints, anything?
Forensic Tech : You need fingers for fingerprints.