Batman: The Brave and the Bold (TV Series)

Long Arm of the Law! (2009)

Diedrich Bader: Batman

Quotes 

• Batman : Woozy.

  Woozy Winks : No, Bats, I'm fine. Thanks to you.

  Batman : No, I meant you're Woozy.

  Woozy Winks : No, really, never been better.

  Batman : [thinking, derisively]  Sidekicks.

  Plastic Man : That dumb oaf almost hurt my family, and now he's gonna pay.

  Batman : Now is not the best time to let your emotions get the best of you, Plas.

• Batman : Kite Man is trying to draw you out. Until we know what he's up to, it's best for you to stay here with your family.

  Plastic Man : [with his fingers crossed behind his back]  Oh, okay, Bats.

• Plastic Man : My fault. This is my fault. I have no self-control. Oh, why didn't I do the thing when I...

  Batman : Get a hold of yourself, O'Brien. Pull it together and let's go.

  Plastic Man : You really think I can help? After everything?

  Batman : I never waste my time on screwups, O'Brien.

• Kite Man : Those years in jail kept me from achieving my own greatness. But when people hear how I used a kite for my fiendish revenge, I'll be the most famous kite-related person in history.

  [tying up Batman] 

  Kite Man : Now that I've taken care of any unwanted interference, Eel, step out here where I can shoot you more easily.

  Batman : O'Brien, you don't have to...

  Plastic Man : But I do, Bats. Thanks to me, my family's in danger. I have to make this right. All right, Kite Man, you win.

  Kite Man : Of course, I do. My ray will turn you into a petrified statue for my mantle. That is, if I don't smash you to bits.

  Batman : [after he fires the ray]  Okay, Kite Man, now release the hostages.

  Kite Man : As you wish.

  [snapping at Rubberneck, the kite to which Ramona, the baby, and the dog are lashed begins to fly away with the wind] 

• Batman : Sorry to interrupt.

  Plastic Man : Batman, come in, come in. Honey, it's Batman. Gotta talk with Batman. He's on a schedule, it's Batman, very busy.

  Batman : [scanning him]  Just as I suspected. You're missing 2.2 grams of yourself.

  Woozy Winks : Mm-hmm. I thought you looked thinner.

  Plastic Man : [gasping, with an exaggerated facial expression]  Wait, what does that even mean?

  Batman : The robbery at the museum was just a ruse. Rubberneck followed you in there. It was all a set-up to get to you.

  Woozy Winks : But why, Plas? Can you think of anyone who has an ax to grind with you?

  Plastic Man : Hmm...

  [thinking through various events where he disrupted others] 

  Plastic Man : No, I can't think of a soul.

• Plastic Man : Where are we?

  Batman : The Franklin Museum. Founded by the most famous kite flyer of them all: Benjamin Franklin.

  Kite Man : Very good, Batman.

  Plastic Man : Where's my family, Kite Man?

  Woozy Winks : Plas! Look!

  Plastic Man : [seeing them tied up to a kite outside]  You are one sick individual.

  Kite Man : Perhaps, but it wasn't always that way. As a boy, I was obsessed with Ben Franklin. I even re-created the famous electricity experiment. But I was brash. I cut corners, ignored safety precautions.

  Batman : The resulting lightning strike caused a psychological trauma that forced you into a life of kite-centric crime.

  Kite Man : Ben Franklin was a fraud. What did this so-called great man ever give us?

  Woozy Winks : Bifocals.

  Plastic Man : The Franklin stove.

  Rubberneck : Daylight savings time.

  Kite Man : Never mind! The only thing that matters is that tonight, I will have my vengeance.

• Plastic Man : Aha! Rubberneck, I've caught you red-handed.

  [grabbing him, Rubberneck rolls him into a ball, bounces him a few times, then throws him through the ceiling] 

  Batman : You double-dribbled, Rubberneck. That's a penalty. Ten to twenty years in Blackgate Prison.

• Batman : [Plastic Man has molded himself into the Batmobile]  I told you to stay behind.

  Plastic Man : But we wanted to help.

  Batman : We?

  Woozy Winks : [munching on a burger in the passenger seat]  Hi.

  Batman : It seems like our friend Rubberneck is at it again. Get us to the east side. Pronto.

  Plastic Man : Gotcha.