Castle (TV Series)

The Third Man (2010)

Nathan Fillion: Richard Castle

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Castle has been named one of New York's Most Eligible Bachelors] 

  Richard Castle : What about this is embarrassing?

  Alexis Castle : Nothing. It's the secret dream of every 16-year-old to have their father crowned one of the most available hotties of the year.

  Martha Rodgers : Well, according to this, your father may not be *on* the market. You didn't read the blurb here?

  Richard Castle : Mm-mm.

  Martha Rodgers : [reading from newspaper]  "Though claiming to be single, Richard Castle is rumored to be romantically involved with NYPD Detective Kate Beckett."

  Richard Castle : What?

  Martha Rodgers : "The inspiration for Nikki Heat, the heroine of his latest best-selling novel. Bachelor number nine may not be eligible for next year's list."

  Richard Castle : [taking the paper]  Where did they get that?

  Alexis Castle : Let me see.

  Richard Castle : I didn't say anything like that in my interview.

  Alexis Castle : Detective Beckett is *not* going to love this.

  Richard Castle : [pause]  Well, maybe she'll just laugh it off.

  Martha Rodgers : [laughs]  How is it, for a man who is surrounded by women, that you know so little about us?

  Richard Castle : [his phone rings]  Speak of the devil. Okay, either Beckett's calling because there's a dead body... or because she read the article.

  Martha Rodgers : Pray for murder.

  Richard Castle : [on phone]  Good morning.

  [listens for a moment, then covers the speaker, relieved] 

  Richard Castle : Dead body. I'm good.

• Alexis Castle : What's all the excitement about?

  Richard Castle : Only 'The New York Ledger's annual 10 Most Eligible Bachelors list, and guess who's on it?

  Alexis Castle : Who?

  Richard Castle : I don't know, but he must be the president of the Really-Good-Looking club.

  Martha Rodgers : [picking up the paper]  Huh! Ranked number nine. Weren't you number seven last year?

  Richard Castle : Yes, and thank you for pointing out my shortcomings once again, Mother.

• Kate Beckett : Thank you for coming in, Miss Langford.

  Michele Langford : [to Castle]  By the way, that... photo in the paper... did you no justice. You're much better looking in person.

  Kate Beckett : There's a picture of you in the paper?

  Michele Langford : So, are you the detective girlfriend?

  Kate Beckett : I'm sorry, the what?

  Michele Langford : He... is such a catch.

  Kate Beckett : [before Castle can say anything]  Don't. Show me... now.

  [cut to them in the break room] 

  Kate Beckett : [angry]  Romantically involved?

  Richard Castle : *Rumored* to be.

  Kate Beckett : What did you tell them?

  Richard Castle : Nothing! Why would I do that? Do you have any idea what this does to my reputation?

  Kate Beckett : Your reputation? What about *my* reputation?

  Richard Castle : I am just as upset as you are! I'm on your team! This is shoddy journalism, and I am two seconds away from canceling my subscription!

  [realizing something] 

  Richard Castle : My subscription.

• Javier Esposito : Why do you care about some mother-freaking snakes on a mother-freaking plane?

  Richard Castle : Because as a murder mystery novelist, I am highly paid to think like a bad guy. Here are a few fun facts about snakes, they are cold-blooded, they swallow huge amounts, and they digest their food very slowly.

  Kate Beckett : Perfect for smuggling.

• Kevin Ryan : Hey, check this out. Dysons found this in the kitchen. Said it's not theirs.

  [Ryan hands over a cell phone, and Beckett scrolls through stored photographs] 

  Kate Beckett : This is here.

  Kevin Ryan : Yeah. Weird, huh?

  Kate Beckett : Why would he take pictures?

  Richard Castle : So he could put everything back the way he found it.

  Kate Beckett : He was hoping nobody would know he was here.

  Richard Castle : Almost as though he was hiding?

  Kate Beckett : [handing the phone to Esposito]  All right, have a tech pull the memory card. See if any of the deleted photos can tell us who he is.

• Richard Castle : What kind of psychopath takes pictures of himself and his murder weapons?

  Kate Beckett : Some killers keep trophies.

  Kevin Ryan : In his defense, he did delete these photos.

  Javier Esposito : .45 with a silencer. Wonder what he had lined up for this.

  Kate Beckett : Nothing good. Has CSU pulled the prints off of the camera and personal effects?

  Javier Esposito : Yeah, they don't match Doug Bishop and they're not in the system.

  Kate Beckett : Which means he doesn't have a record.

  Richard Castle : Well, if Doug wasn't our squatter, what was he doing in the Dysons' apartment?

  Kate Beckett : He had to have known the squatter somehow.

  Kevin Ryan : If this squatter was so meticulous about putting things back, why'd he leave all this for us to find?

  Richard Castle : You're right. It-It makes no sense.

  Kate Beckett : [surprised]  What? No grand theatrical *theory* to spin for us?

  Richard Castle : Honestly, I, uh, got nothing.

• Kate Beckett : Are you sure you don't recognize him?

  Michele Langford : Yeah, I'm positive.

  Kate Beckett : And you don't know the Dysons?

  Michele Langford : No. The only person that knew I was even out of town was my mother. Everyone else thought I was on sick leave. You won't... tell my boss that, will you?

  Richard Castle : Did you notice anything unusual when you returned?

  Michele Langford : [realization dawns on her]  Oh, that totally explains it.

  Kate Beckett , Richard Castle : What?

  Michele Langford : My faucet. For weeks I've been asking my super to fix my leaky faucet, but he never came. And then when I got back, it was fixed, so I just assumed that he finally did it. But then later when I saw him on the stairs, he didn't even know what I was talking about.

  Richard Castle : The squatter fixed your sink?

  Michele Langford : Yeah. And there was this bottle of, um... like, weird strawberry champagne in the fridge. And I just assumed that one of my friends had left it during a dinner party I had before I left. But... none of my friends would have bought such a...

  Richard Castle : Cheap bottle of booze.

  Michele Langford : Exactly.

  Richard Castle : So, he makes repairs, leaves hostess gifts. He's the Gentleman Squatter.

  Kate Beckett : Who killed a man, so don't make him out to be the houseguest of the year.

• Kate Beckett : So, who's your friend at the paper?

  Richard Castle : Oh, Donna Vincennes? She's the one who wrote the blurb about us.

  Kate Beckett : There is no *us*.

  Richard Castle : I know that.

  Kate Beckett : Did you tell her that?

  Richard Castle : Yes, I did. Which worked out, actually, really well for me. As it turns out, Most Eligible Bachelorette Numero Tres... very interested in meeting me. Once the infotainers get a hold of her with me, they're gonna forget all about you and I.

  Kate Beckett : I can just see the headlines now: "Nine meets Three at dinner for two."

  Richard Castle : [laughs]  Believe it or not, there's a lot of women in this town who like the idea of being romantically linked to me.

• [after questioning a suspect who had a wild story] 

  Richard Castle : I'm just saying it's a really good story. Come on, mysterious bad guys, crescent-shaped scars, hiding in a closet...

  Kate Beckett : It sounds like fiction, because it probably is.

  Richard Castle : Well, that's too bad. He's a nice guy.

  Javier Esposito : So was Jeffrey Dahmer. Didn't stop him from eating people.

• Richard Castle : You know who kills with syringes? Mad doctors and B-movie Nazis. Why don't you just use a gun?

  Kate Beckett : Guns are loud. I've seen squatters in abandoned buildings, but nothing like this.

  Richard Castle : And then someone sneaks in and kills him with a needle. Weird.

• Javier Esposito : I ran background checks on everyone who knew the family was gonna be out of town. So far, everyone's come back clean, but I'm gonna keep digging.

  Kate Beckett : Anything on canvass?

  Kevin Ryan : A whole lot of nothing. No doorman on the building. None of the Dysons' neighbors noticed anything out of the ordinary.

  Javier Esposito : Shocker. I've lived in my spot eight years, I couldn't pick my neighbors out of a lineup.

  Richard Castle : Well, that's Manhattan for you. Nobody notices anything unless it affects them directly.

  Javier Esposito : [teasing him about the Ledger article]  Unless it's in the paper.

• Lanie Parish : I got the results back from the lab. He was injected with an anesthetic, ketamine.

  Richard Castle : Special K? He was killed by a club drug?

  Lanie Parish : Not in this dose. Whoever shot up Mr. Bishop was not looking to get him high. Gave him enough to put down a horse.

• Kate Beckett : What are you doing?

  Richard Castle : Langford said that the only person who knew she was on vacation was her mother, but that's not true. If she was actually pretending to be sick, the last thing she'd want is newspapers piling up at her front door.

  Kate Beckett : She had the papers held.

  Richard Castle : [into his phone]  Yes, your subscription department, please.

  [to Beckett] 

  Richard Castle : Anyone with access to vacation-hold information would know exactly who's out of town, and for exactly how long.

  [Beckett hurries around the table to listen in on the phone call] 

  Richard Castle : [to phone]  Yes. I would like to verify vacation-hold information on two of your subscribers, please. Who am I? I'm... I...

  [to Beckett] 

  Richard Castle : I sometimes forget I'm not actually a cop.

  Kate Beckett : [taking the phone]  I don't.

• Javier Esposito : Place is clear.

  Kevin Ryan : No gun, no ketamine, no mountain climbing equipment. There is nothing here.

  Richard Castle : Yes, there is. An icebox, circa late 1800s. You see, before the invention of modern household refrigeration, people used to keep their perishable items in a box that held ice, hence... an icebox.

  Kate Beckett : It's not an open house, Castle.

  Richard Castle : Oh, the Maitlans were very clever. They converted *this* into a cupboard, meanwhile, it's right next to their fridge.

  [opens the refrigerator and shrieks when a dead body falls out] 

  Richard Castle : [everyone rushes over to check the body] 

  Richard Castle : I did not expect that.

  Kate Beckett : Crescent-shaped scar.

  Richard Castle : Looks like there was some truth to Micky's tale, after all.

• Kevin Ryan : Why go through so much trouble to get in the Maitlans' apartment?

  Kate Beckett : Maybe what they wanted wasn't in the Maitlans' apartment. Maybe they were gonna rob someone else, but just needed access.

  Richard Castle : The audio/visual equipment.

  [Beckett, Ryan, and Espo all look at him blankly] 

  Richard Castle : Access.

  [drawing on the murder board] 

  Richard Castle : The Maitlans live on the second floor. Running perpendicular to them and whatever's below is the old dumbwaiter shaft. In "Gathering Storm", I had Derrick Storm climb up the dumbwaiter shaft to bypass the Czech assassin in order to save the Swiss ambassador's daughter. Maybe our bad guys are using the dumbwaiter to bypass the security of whatever's below them.

  Kate Beckett : Which would explain the ropes and the climbing gear. So what's below the Maitlans' apartment?

• Richard Castle : Hey, I know that this can be weird for you, how parents aren't supposed to date.

  Alexis Castle : I know you date, Dad. I know you probably do other things that I'm *not* going to think about, and will never, ever mention.

  Richard Castle : Fair enough. So, what's wrong?

  Alexis Castle : I don't know. I mean, I'm not gonna be here forever. And then who's gonna look after you then? Bachelorette Number Three?

  Richard Castle : [chuckles]  Slow down there. Let's not go buying rings anytime soon. It's just a date.

  Alexis Castle : I know. And she seems nice and all. But... if that's who you date, I mean, are you really gonna find happiness with the kind of person who's a number on a list?

  Richard Castle : Well, I already have. You're number one on mine. Look, it's my job to worry about you, not the other way around. I'll be fine.

  Alexis Castle : Yeah, that's what you said when you tried to deep-fry a turkey... and we all know how that turned out. I just don't want you to get hurt. Or... burn your eyebrows off... again.

  Richard Castle : [hugs Alexis]  I'm glad they grew back.

  Alexis Castle : They're finally matching.

• [surprised to see Castle on a date at the same restaurant] 

  Kate Beckett : What are you doing here? You *knew* that I was coming here.

  Richard Castle : I knew you wanted to come here. I didn't think you could get a table last-minute.

  Kate Beckett : You got a table last-minute.

  Richard Castle : Yeah, I've got connections.

  Kate Beckett : So do I. City health inspector.

  Richard Castle : Wow! Nice abuse of power.

• [last lines] 

  Kate Beckett : So, how did your date go?

  Richard Castle : She was kind of boring. Didn't talk much. Mr. July?

  Kate Beckett : A little self-absorbed.

  Richard Castle : Looked it.

  Kate Beckett : Really?

  Richard Castle : I can tell... Some people just don't know to behave on a date.

  Kate Beckett : *Especially* on a first date.

  Richard Castle : Exactly.

• [Beckett gets a phone call from Brad and walks a bit away for privacy] 

  Richard Castle : Who's Brad?

  Javier Esposito : Hmm. Must be Lanie's friend.

  Richard Castle : You know him?

  Javier Esposito : Yeah, met him once. Good guy... Fireman. He was in the FDNY calendar. Chiseled good looks, rock hard abs. Oh, and get this, once during a fire, after saving the parents and the kids, he went back in... for the puppies.

  Richard Castle : Did she just flip her hair?

  Javier Esposito : I'm telling you, bro... Puppies. Gets 'em every time.

  Kevin Ryan : Puppies.

• Kevin Ryan : It's ironic, you know. People put in vacation-holds to avoid break-ins.

  Richard Castle : Good use of irony.