Two and a Half Men (TV Series)
Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste (2010)
Charlie Sheen: Charlie Harper
Photos
Quotes
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Alan Harper : Watching football?
Charlie Harper : There's no fooling you!
Alan Harper : So, who are we rooting for?
Charlie Harper : The spread.
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Alan Harper : Heard any good jokes lately?
Charlie Harper : Yeah. Two brothers are sitting on a couch. One of them says, "heard any good jokes lately?". And the other one - now, get this - the other one sets him on fire.
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Alan Harper : I need human contact.
[Doorbell rings]
Charlie Harper : That's probably a human. Go make contact. That's actually very clever.
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Charlie Harper : Hey, Berta. Get me a beer, will ya?
Berta : Jake, get your uncle a beer.
Jake Harper : He can get his own beer.
Berta : Sorry, Charlie. I tried.