Legend of the Seeker (TV Series)

Princess (2010)

Bruce Spence: Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander

Photos 

Quotes 

• Richard Cypher : [plans to dig tunnel or do whatever to rescue Kahlan]  We have to get over the wall.

  Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander : And once were inside? It will be three of us against hundreds, with no magic at our disposal. I believe there's another way. Apparently, the margrave is about to choose a new bride to share with him the eternity he's purchasing with Kahlan's life. Every high-born beauty in the Midlands has been competing to be chosen, but the margrave has narrowed down the selection to the countess of Dunstable and the princess of Thryce. They'll both be arriving at the palace tomorrow morning...

  Richard Cypher : Zedd, why are you telling us the local gossip when Kahlan is going to be handed over to the Sisters of the Dark?

  Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander : Because the margrave has known the countess for years, but he knows the princess only by her glowing reputation. He has never actually laid eyes on her. If the princess and her retinue happened to be intercepted on their way, we could arrive at the palace in their place, and be welcomed with open arms. All we need is a princess.

  Cara Mason : [clearly agrees that it's a good idea, nods, then realizes:]  Oh, no. Mm-hmm.

  Richard Cypher : Cara, it could work.

  Cara Mason : I'm no princess!

  Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander : No, you're not. Especially not this princess, who is renowned for her delicacy, her charm, and most especially, her virtue.

  [Cara is dismayed] 

  Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander : But the impossibility of the task must not prevent us from undertaking it.

  [spells the princess and her entourage, they're as still as wax dummies:] 

  Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander : Her Serene Highness, Princess Lorelyn of Thryce.

  Cara Mason : [regards this very portrait of a lady:]  I think we should dig the tunnel.

• Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander : [to Cara]  Would that your transformation were as simple. You must unlearn everything you know and believe. To begin with, you must never look any man in the palace directly in the eye. You must never speak your mind on any subject, but always defer to the opinion of your masculine betters.

  Cara Mason : [shakes her head, smiles]  There's no such thing.

  Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander : Exactly the attitude you must abandon! Most challenging of all, when in the margrave's presence, a lady must always, without exception, speak in a rhyming dactylic tetrameter.

  Richard Cypher : A what?

  Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander : A poetic meter in which each line consists of four groups of three-syllable phrases with the accent on the first syllable. And the first syllable of the fourth phrase of each line must rhyme with the corresponding syllable on the line before it.

  Cara Mason : You're making this up.

  Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander : I passionately wish I were. I shall demonstrate by example. If the margrave were to ask you "Hasn't the weather been nice lately?" you might answer

  [in female voice:] 

  Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander : "The night was a tumult of thunder and storm, but ever since then it's been lovely and warm." Care to try?

  Cara Mason : There's no way I'm going to win this competition!

  Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander : You don't have to win. You just need to keep us in the game long enough for Richard to find Kahlan and rescue her.

• Richard Cypher : I'll never get near the dungeon now.

  Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander : Afraid there's only one hope left to us.

  Richard Cypher : For Cara to get close enough to the margrave to steal the key.

  Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander : [to Cara]  You must do exactly as I say. When in the hunt, a woman must never take the lead...

  Cara Mason : Forget the lessons. I've minced and curtsied and rhymed, and we still don't have the key. I'll get it my way.

  Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander : Without your Agiels?

  Cara Mason : I don't need magic to make a man beg for mercy.

• [last lines] 

  Richard Cypher : We should move fast. Nicci may have run away, but she'll be back.

  Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander : With her powers. To Nargoth then.

  Cara Mason : [still in princess' dress]  Uh, not until I get out of this dress.

  Kahlan Amnell : Why? A little lower on the neckline and you may never need another Agiel.

  [catching up with still-blonde Richard:] 

  Kahlan Amnell : And if you had done this a year ago, Darken Rahl would have surrendered at the sight of you.

  [to still-in-woman's-clothes Zedd:] 

  Kahlan Amnell : And if you're going to wear a hem that short you should get rid of the stockings and show a little skin!

  [smiling Zedd gives her a playful whack with his fan, she hugs him, giggles]