Mr. Mayor (TV Series)

Venus on the Moon (2022)

Bobby Moynihan: Jayden Kwapis

Quotes 

• Neil Bremer : You know, I'm not the one who said that she should never have a minimum wage job. I'm, I'm not the one who insisted that she go to private school.

  [Jayden looks up, raises his eyebrows as he realizes he's alone with Neil] 

  Neil Bremer : It was Natalie. Before she died, she laid it all out.

  [sighs] 

  Jayden Kwapis : Dead wives. Can't live with them... Obviously.

• Neil Bremer : [indignantly]  Tommy, I need you to supervise Orly.

  Tommy Tomás : [superciliously]  Yes! You lose, Jayden.

  Jayden Kwapis : [affably confused]  Oh, okay, well, can we play again later?

• Jayden Kwapis : [giving a tour to members of the youth leadership program]  We call this room The Bullpen, which is short for bull penis.

• Jayden Kwapis : Now that I have everyone's attention, I would like to introduce the 2022 Mayor's Youth Leadership Program participants. And in the interest of inclusion, partici-skirts.

  [reading from a biography] 

  Jayden Kwapis : Inez Herrera was a finalist in the intel space competition. She speaks Spanish and Mandarin. Oh, gosh, it doesn't say English here.

  [loudly with animated gestures] 

  Jayden Kwapis : So wel-come I-nez.

• Jayden Kwapis : [enters Mikaela's office]  Hey, so you know how the mayor was supposed to apologize to the Boyle Heights food vendors today?

  Mikaela Shaw : Uh...

  Jayden Kwapis : Well, our Spanish interpreter was out sick, so I took a crack at it.

  Mikaela Shaw : Oh, God. What did you make him say?

  [cut to press conference] 

  Mikaela Shaw : Mayor Bremer is not hiding a secret love child. He was told that "embarazada" means "embarrassed," when, of course, it means pregnant.