- Phil and Claire trade discipline roles for the day, Gloria forces Jay to listen to a horrible business proposal, and Mitchell tries to convince a sick Cameron to let him go to the Lady Gaga concert without him.
- Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) has a problem: Cameron (Eric Stonestreet) is down with the flu and they have tickets to see Lady GaGa tonight. ("It's the one gay stereotype I allow myself.") Unfortunately, Mitch tries a little psychology on Cameron to get his blessing to go to the concert while he stayed in bed. Guess how that worked out.
Still, it could be worse. Mitch could be refereeing the fight Claire (Julie Bowen) is right now between her kids...and Phil (Ty Burrell) undermining her didn't help. Apparently, Luke (Nolan Gould) and Manny (Rico Rodriguez) barged into Alex (Ariel Winter) and Haley's (Sarah Hyland) room while they were changing, and Luke offered to even it up by letting them see him in his underwear. Claire goes ballistic when everybody starts yelling again, threatening no TV or Internet, while Phil tries to distance himself from her (and thus undermining her even worse). And now it's Phil who is in her crosshairs. Phil thinks the dynamic is good as is, allowing Claire to be the bad cop while Phil gets to be the loving dad. Naturally, that does not work for Claire, who demands Phil go yell at Claire and Haley for not cleaning their bathroom. But Phil wanted to take Luke go-karting for his report card...he didn't lose it. But Claire decided to take Manny and Luke go-karting, which freaks them out. And Phil ordering the girls to clean the bathroom is even more freaky. Phil, wanting to blame it all on Claire but can't, is really hating the role reversal already. Of course, Claire loved standing behind him and reminding the girls they still loved them. But Phil's strategy worked and he let the girls go. ("Note to Claire: if you want intense family drama, rent .") Of course, checking to see if the girls actually cleaned the bathoom first before letting them go would have been a good idea. They simply shoved all the junk into a cabinet. Phil goes off the deep end, even leaping on Haley's car to stop them.
Jay (Ed O'Neill) meets someone at the kitchen table, Guillermo. Gloria (Sofía Vergara) brings people in once a month or so to help them out. ("She has a big heart. I really wish I could change that.") But Jay figured if she kept it under $100, it wouldn't ruin his golf game. However, Guillermo was looking for business advice. Actually, it was a sales pitch that wouldn't even get an informercial. It was for a dog training system, which was a multi-billion dollar industry...according to Guillermo. He might want to use it on his own dog, which was chewing up a pillow. The system had bland treats for when they acted up and good treats when they behaved themselves. Of course, Stella the dog preferred the bad doggie treats. Guillermo wants Jay to get in on the ground floor ("Actually, she's peeing on the ground floor.") Jay has to break the bad news to Guillermo. Jay tried to reassure Guillermo all he needed was a better idea, but neither Guillermo nor Gloria was having it. Gloria was ticked at Jay, even though she agreed the system was a bad idea.
Mitchell calls Claire for advice. Emboldened by her stance with Phil, she suggests going to the concert (or at least give her the tickets), because you can't guilt someone into doing things for you (like Cam carrying him around when he was sick). She suggests taking care of Cam and faking a breakdown right before the concert. She's into spreading the love around...such as nailing Luke and Manny into the wall at the go-kart track. That was bad enough, but insisting the boys eat cheeseburgers (Manny really wanted a skinless chicken breast sandwich), onion rings, fries, and milkshakes might have been overdoing the fun aspects. Fortunately for Luke, that's what the empty cup is for. Meanwhile, Phil has turned into quite the taskmaster, even duct-taping their laptops shut and ordering them to clean his bathroom, too. ("And you know how gross I can be!") The hair Haley pulled out of the drain with a coat hanger grossed all of them out. As Luke was furious with Claire for making him eat all that food, and the girls hated taskmaster Phil, the experiment was over, and Claire was back to being the bad cop.
Mitchell did everything Claire suggested: making soup, rubbing Cam's feet, everything. It was time for the 'I love you, but I'm going to the concert' line. Only Cam fell asleep, but Mitchell whispered the whole line and took off. However, Cam caught him and wasn't happy. Mitch agreed it was a cop-out to go when Cam is always good at taking care of him. And Mitch stayed right there with him...except for the couple of hours he spent at the concert and still had the neon necklace to prove it.
Meanwhile, Gloria talked to Guillermo, who decided to go back to school and get his business degree. However, he had to get rid of the dog, which meant Gloria just HAD to keep it. Jay refused, but Manny got home and wanted to say goodbye to the dog...whom he just met. Jay takes him to the pound, but the puppy worked its magic on him and Manny has a new pet.
GLORIA: Maybe we are the way we are because of the people we're with. Or maybe, we just pick the people we need. However it works, when you find that someone, you should never let them go.
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