Glee (TV Series)

Special Education (2010)

Chris Colfer: Kurt Hummel

Quotes 

• Kurt Hummel : I've been invited to audition for a solo.

  Rachel Berry : Why should I help you? I mean, you're our competition now.

  Kurt Hummel : Because even though we hate each other, we've had our moments, and I could use your expertise. And no one knows how to kill a ballad quite like you. You are as brilliant and talented as you are irritating.

  Rachel Berry : Considering that this might be my only chance to sing for a little while, I'll give you a couple tips. So, what did you, uh, have in mind?

  Kurt Hummel : I've settled on Celine Dion's classic "My Heart Will Go On".

  Rachel Berry : Oh, no. No, no, no.

  Kurt Hummel : No?

  Rachel Berry : Listen, you need something much more personal than that. I mean, this is about you. Do you ever fantasize about your own funeral?

  Kurt Hummel : No.

  Rachel Berry : I do. Finn throwing himself into the grave out of grief, and all of the heartfelt speeches and the regrets.

  Kurt Hummel : That's insane.

  Rachel Berry : Clearly no one in the Glee Club appreciates me. Is it so wrong for me to fantasize about them finally realizing how amazing I am but it being too late?

• Rachel Berry : Hey, uh, did you get your solo?

  Kurt Hummel : Sadly, no.

  Rachel Berry : Oh, wow, if you didn't a solo, then they must be really good. We are doomed. Sorry, that was selfish. What I meant to say was "Wow, that... that really sucks. I'm... I'm sure you were really good."

  Kurt Hummel : I was. I mean, I think I was. Being in the Warblers has really made me question everything I thought about myself.

  Rachel Berry : Yeah. What has become of us, Kurt? So, do you miss us?

  Kurt Hummel : I do. Being a Warbler is great, but I don't think they appreciate my individuality as much as you guys did, and I can't help but think that I let you guys down.

  Rachel Berry : It's your life, Kurt, and you weren't safe at McKinley anymore, and we all get it.

  Kurt Hummel : How come you were never this nice to me when I was your teammate?

  Rachel Berry : Because you were my only real competition.

• Kurt Hummel : So, how's Finn? I feel bad. I haven't spoken to him since the wedding.

  Rachel Berry : I haven't really talked to him much, either. I found out that he and Santana were romantically involved and he lied to me about it.

  Kurt Hummel : Wait, you didn't know about that?

• Kurt Hummel : [after his solo audition]  Any sage advice?

  Blaine Anderson : Don't try so hard next time.

  Kurt Hummel : I didn't realize that caring was frowned upon.

  Blaine Anderson : I don't know how it worked at your old school, but did you notice that we all wear uniforms around here? It's about being part of the team.

  Kurt Hummel : I guess I'm just used to having to scream to get noticed.

  Blaine Anderson : You're not going to make it as a Warbler if all you care about is getting noticed.

  Kurt Hummel : You're right. I'm sorry.

  Blaine Anderson : I know it's going to take some getting used to, but you'll fit in soon enough. I promise.