Glee (TV Series)

The Substitute (2010)

Gwyneth Paltrow: Holly Holliday

Photos 

Quotes 

• Holly Holliday : Rachel, I used to be just like you, trying to get everything so right, hanging on so tight.

  Rachel Berry : What happened?

  Holly Holliday : I got punched in the face.

• Will Schuester : You're a substitute. Of course you can let the kids do whatever they want. You never have to deal with the hangover of all that fun.

  Holly Holliday : 16% of all high school students dropped out last year. We can't just expect them to sit up and pay attention. These kids feel special. They have a voice, and if we don't listen to it, they just tune us out.

  Will Schuester : I give my kids a voice. I just don't let them run it free. I'm a teacher. It's my job to know more than they do.

  Holly Holliday : Right, you don't know about what they care about the most - themselves. These kids get bored, they change their facebook status. They're entitled to have all of these emotions, and not only that, they're entitled to have the world care about them, that is what the generation is about.

  Will Schuester : A great teacher is supposed to show them there are other points of view besides their own.

• Holly Holliday : Hey, Rachel.

  Rachel Berry : Hello, Ms. Holliday. I'd like you to know that I have a very severe bruise on my right buttock from your game of gangsta rap musical chairs. I'll be going on record with the school nurse later today.

  Holly Holliday : Rachel, you suck. Oh, my god, you're like a total drag. Has anyone ever told you that?

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : [passing by]  I have.

  Holly Holliday : Oh, Puckerman, here are the answers to the pop quiz I'll be giving in Spanish class later. It is *so* boring in there.

• Holly Holliday : I'm a terrible teacher.

  [before Will can say anything] 

  Holly Holliday : Don't argue with me. I know I am. Today... Mercedes got in trouble for shoving tots up Sue Sylvester's tailpipe, and we were sitting in Sue's office, and Mercedes was looking at me like...

  [she pantomimes a look] 

  Holly Holliday : ...and I just... was totally lost.

  Will Schuester : What did... what did Sue do to her?

  Holly Holliday : Whatever. I don't know. She, like, suspended her or whatever. Oh! See? God, I do that every time. As soon as things get serious, I retreat. God, I... I didn't used to be like this, you know? I... I... I was... more like you.

• Holly Holliday : [narrating over flashbacks]  Spaulding High School, ten years ago.

  Holly Holliday : Good morning, class.

  Holly Holliday : [v.o]  I was subbing for a math teacher.

  Holly Holliday : The syllabus says that you're on algorithms, so let's start with some easy ones.

  Cameo : Let's start with you kissing my ass!

  Holly Holliday : [v.o]  Her name was Cameo. She was like an attractive Biggie Smalls.

  Holly Holliday : Okay, Ms...

  Cameo : Cameo.

  Holly Holliday : Ms. Cameo, do you find that algorithms are hard for you to understand?

  Cameo : Do you find my fist hard to understand?

  Holly Holliday : I have some really great tricks that make them very easy to learn.

  Cameo : Tricks? What are you, some type of magician subsitute?

  [getting out of her seat] 

  Cameo : I'm a Christian, and that devil magic stuff offends me!

  Holly Holliday : [flinching as she gets punched]  Cameo!

  [return to real time in Will's apartment] 

  Holly Holliday : I woke up in an empty classroom. They'd stolen my Air Jordans. From that moment, I realized I got to keep things moving, I got to keep it mellow and fun.

  Will Schuester : Yeah, to keep from getting your butt kicked.

  Holly Holliday : And I do, in all ways. I never sign more than a month-to-month lease. I only eat off paper plates. I *live* on one-night stands. Last year a guy asked me to marry him; I moved.

• Will Schuester : What are you doing here? You should've called.

  Terri Schuester : I brought you some more soup.

  [babbling like a baby] 

  Terri Schuester : But I guess baby's feeling a lot better if he's healthy enough to have a beer with a friend!

  Holly Holliday : No, no. Hi. I'm... I'm Holly Holliday.

  Terri Schuester : Are you a porn star or a drag queen? I'm Terri Schuester, Will's wife.

  Holly Holliday : Wow. Your wife's kind of a bitch.

  Will Schuester : She's my ex-wife. And I have no idea what she's doing here.