- Bender: So what's happening to me? And I'll take my answer in any form but a song.
- The Robot Devil: Oh, you're no fun. You see, Bender, it's all very simple. You're a ghost.
- Bender: A gh-gh-gh-gh-ghost?
- The Robot Devil: No, just the regular kind.
- Hermes Conrad: As you can see, since Bender's death, request to bite one's shiny metal ass are down 98%.
- [Scruffy comes in vacuuming]
- Hermes Conrad: Do you mind doing that later?
- Scruffy: Bite my shiny, metal ass.
- Preacherbot: Wear this at all times, and no robot ghost shall harm you. It also keeps cats off the couch, by killing them.
- Bender: You think robot life is worth less than human life, don't you?
- Philip J. Fry: No, no. Well, actually yes.
- The Robot Devil: Hum, Bender, would you like to make a deal?
- Bender: I'm not stupid, so yes, absolutely.
- [first lines]
- Hermes Conrad: Listen up people. As long as nothing happens for the next 15 minutes, our insurance will be reinstated. So, let's just sit quietly and run out the clock.
- [sits down]
- Hermes Conrad: [brief pause while the group sits quietly]
- Amy Wong: [stands, screams in terror, and points] A giant sausage!
- [All yell in terror]
- Hermes Conrad: [gets up and flails arms] Oh, God, no! Get out of here you horrific sausage!
- Turanga Leela: Wait! Isn't today the parade? It's just a giant balloon.
- Philip J. Fry: Giant balloon?
- [grips chair and screams in terror]
- Professor Farnsworth: I'm sure whatever is happening can be explained by science.
- Gypsy: [cut to later at night] Let the seance begin!
- Professor Farnsworth: I said *science*!
- Philip J. Fry: The only machine I'll ever miss is... Bender.
- Bender: Say what?
- Philip J. Fry: Now that he's gone, I realise how valuable a robot life can be... when it belongs to my best friend.
- [sobs]
- Bender: [touched] That's the closest thing to 'Bender is great' that anyone besides me has ever said.
- Dr. Zoidberg: Hey, look.
- [points]
- Dr. Zoidberg: A fog is rolling in.
- Hermes Conrad: No, that's just the Jamaican pride float.
- Amy Wong: Looks like it's speeding up.
- Hermes Conrad: Oh, no! It's within munching distance of the Doritos float!
- Amy Wong: [At Bender's funeral] Poor, nasty, mean, old Bender. I can't believe we'll never hear his evil laugh again.
- [Bender laughs evily as his spirit exits his body]
- Philip J. Fry: I miss him so much.
- [speaking of Bender, who is dead]
- Hermes Conrad: There, there, Fry. He may be gone, but he'll always be with us as a trashcan.
- [unscrewing Bender's head, placing it on the floor, and using it as a trashcan]
- Mayor C. Randall Poopenmeyer: Ladies and gentlemen - I am proud to associate myself with a true hero! Mr Fry, allow me to present you with the keys to the city! This ones for the deadbolt, this ones for the top lock, I think this ones for the knob... the city's in a bad neighborhood.