The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Zarnecki Incursion (2011)
Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper
Photos
Quotes
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Howard Wolowitz : [Sheldon is holding a Klingon Bat'leth] Why did you bring that?
Sheldon Cooper : No weapon strikes more fear into a man's heart than a Klingon bat'leth.
Leonard Hofstadter : OK, let's get clear on something. We're just gonna tell this guy to transfer all of your stuff back into your account and then be on our way. No one's "batlething" anybody.
Sheldon Cooper : So my blade shall not taste blood tonight?
Leonard Hofstadter : No.
Sheldon Cooper : Well, now I just feel silly holding it.
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Officer Shin : I'm sorry for your loss, but the Pasadena Police Department doesn't have jurisdiction in... Pandora.
Sheldon Cooper : That's from Avatar! World of Warcraft takes place in Azeroth. Goodness gracious, how are you allowed to carry a gun?
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Sheldon Cooper : It is time to cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war!
Leonard Hofstadter : I'm on it.
[pulls out cell phone and dials]
Leonard Hofstadter : Hi, Mrs. Wolowitz, is Howard there? Okay, thanks.
[hangs up]
Leonard Hofstadter : That particular dog of war will have to call you back after his bath.
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Officer Shin : Mr. Cooper, there's nothing...
Sheldon Cooper : Dr. Cooper!
Officer Shin : Seriously?
Leonard Hofstadter : Not the kind with access to drugs.
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Todd Zarnecki : [Sheldon knocks on his front door] Who is it?
Sheldon Cooper : Your doom!
Raj Koothrappali : Don't say "your doom". Who answers the door for their doom?
Sheldon Cooper : Good point.
[turning back to the door]
Sheldon Cooper : Basket of puppies!
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Penny : Give my friend his stuff back.
Todd Zarnecki : I don't know what you're talking about.
Penny : Well then good news. Today is the day a girl is finally gonna touch you in your little special place.
[Penny kicks his groin]
Penny : Now give him his stuff back.
Todd Zarnecki : [In deep pain] Ok.
Sheldon Cooper : [shouting] WE DID IT!
[Penny looks at him]
Sheldon Cooper : I said *WE*.
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Leonard Hofstadter : You called the police because somebody hacked your World of Warcraft account?
Sheldon Cooper : What choice did I have? The mighty Sheldor, level 85 blood elf, hero of the Eastern Kingdoms, has been picked clean like a carcass in the desert sun! Plus, the FBI hung up on me!
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Sheldon Cooper : Leonard?
Leonard Hofstadter : Aw jeez, I don't know if I can ditch Priya two nights in a row.
Raj Koothrappali : Oh come on man, bros before... my sister.
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Priya Koothrappali : Leonard, you're busy; let's talk tomorrow.
Leonard Hofstadter : Oh, wait. Hang on; are you upset?
Priya Koothrappali : No, no, I think it's sexy to date a boy trapped in a man's body.
Leonard Hofstadter : Good, good, I'll tell you what happened.
[Priya leaves]
Sheldon Cooper : [to Howard] People think *I* don't get sarcasm.
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Penny : Anyways, I brought you a day-old cheesecake to cheer you up.
Sheldon Cooper : Stale pastry is hollow succor to a man who is bereft of ostrich.
Penny : Just say thank you.
Sheldon Cooper : I thought I just did.
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[first lines]
Sheldon : Why hast thou forsaken me, O deity whose existence I doubt?
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Raj Koothrappali : [while on a road-trip] I took the liberty of burning us a mix of heroic questing music.
Sheldon Cooper : This says Beyoncé Bootylicious Dance Mix.
Raj Koothrappali : It's a rewritable CD, just put it in.
Howard Wolowitz : Beyoncé, really?
Raj Koothrappali : She's curvy and she's owns it. I like that.
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Sheldon Cooper : 3000 hours. 3000 hours clicking on that mouse, collecting weapons and gold. It's almost as if it was a huge waste of time.