Community (TV Series)

Early 21st Century Romanticism (2011)

Yvette Nicole Brown: Shirley Bennett

Photos 

Quotes 

• Shirley Bennett : We've got to do something about Pierce and those painkillers.

  Jeff Winger : He's recovering from broken legs.

  Troy Barnes : I'll say. He can moonwaaaalk!

  Jeff Winger : I'm sure he's almost through his prescription. Besides he's a baby boomer, they invented drugs.

  Britta Perry : Yeah, they also invented TV, have you seen him control one of those?

  Annie Edison : [pointing at the others]  Intervention? Intervention? Intervention?

  Jeff Winger : Count me out.

  Shirley Bennett : We can't count you out, he listens to you.

  Jeff Winger : Well, he also listens to the Barenaked Ladies, go get their dumb asses to help you.

  Troy Barnes : [everyone gasps in horror]  Okay Jeff, you are clearly in a bad space today, but Pierce is our friend, and the Barenaked Ladies are triple platinum, are you?

  Jeff Winger : Why does everyone leap to defend that band so aggressively and how much stuff do we have to go through this year before my friendship stops being questioned?

  Annie Edison : Well, maybe friendship is about going through a lot of stuff Jeff, and maybe BNL has two Billboard Awards to your zero!

  Jeff Winger : Oh, okay, they're BNL now? We need a shorthand for the Barenaked Ladies. That's how fundamental they are.

  Abed Nadir : Fundamental.

  Jeff Winger : You know what Pierce probably needs more than anything? Some space. Maybe I do too.

  Britta Perry : [yelling angrily]  You know what? Maybe we all need some space, to pull the knife out of the back of the most celebrated Canadian alt-rock band of the mid 90s, you selfish, jaded ass!

• Shirley Bennett : Pierce?

  Pierce Hawthorne : [grunts]  Mm-hmm

  Shirley Bennett : What was that?

  Pierce Hawthorne : Gum.

  Annie Edison : Why aren't you chewing?

  Pierce Hawthorne : Because I'm using my mouth for this dumb conversation.

• Britta Perry , Page : [laughter]  Bye.

  Britta Perry : [Britta walks in the study room]  That's my friend, Page. She's cool, but... whatever.

  Troy Barnes : She's cute.

  Britta Perry : Oh, Troy.

  [chuckles] 

  Britta Perry : Heh. Before you go barking up that tree, I have to tell you she might not be interested.

  Annie Edison : Why wouldn't she be...?

  [gasps] 

  Annie Edison : Oh. Is she a friend of Ellen?

  Britta Perry : Yes, Annie, but you can say the word. Page is a... lesbian.

  [all heads turn to look at Pierce] 

  Britta Perry : Pierce, as someone who's been calling me a lesbian for the last year and a half, I'm sure you don't have anything to say about me being friends with one.

  Pierce Hawthorne : Nothing off the cuff. What I do have is a prepared statement.

  [Pierce opens his satchel on the table, changes his glasses, pulls out his statement and inhales deeply, cut to intro] 

  Pierce Hawthorne : [intro ends]  ... And in summation, good luck and bon appétit.

  [group is nonplussed] 

  Jeff Winger : Many, many paragraphs of that were oddly supportive.

  Pierce Hawthorne : Wait till you hear the one I have for you.

  [Pierce takes a pill] 

  Shirley Bennett : Okay, I know that wasn't gum.

  Pierce Hawthorne : You're right. It was an awesome exit pill.

  [Pierce rises] 

  Pierce Hawthorne : Zip, zop, zooey. Bye.

  [Pierce moonwalks exit, all heads turn to look at Jeff]