Community (TV Series)
Early 21st Century Romanticism (2011)
Gillian Jacobs: Britta Perry
Photos
Quotes
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Shirley Bennett : We've got to do something about Pierce and those painkillers.
Jeff Winger : He's recovering from broken legs.
Troy Barnes : I'll say. He can moonwaaaalk!
Jeff Winger : I'm sure he's almost through his prescription. Besides he's a baby boomer, they invented drugs.
Britta Perry : Yeah, they also invented TV, have you seen him control one of those?
Annie Edison : [pointing at the others] Intervention? Intervention? Intervention?
Jeff Winger : Count me out.
Shirley Bennett : We can't count you out, he listens to you.
Jeff Winger : Well, he also listens to the Barenaked Ladies, go get their dumb asses to help you.
Troy Barnes : [everyone gasps in horror] Okay Jeff, you are clearly in a bad space today, but Pierce is our friend, and the Barenaked Ladies are triple platinum, are you?
Jeff Winger : Why does everyone leap to defend that band so aggressively and how much stuff do we have to go through this year before my friendship stops being questioned?
Annie Edison : Well, maybe friendship is about going through a lot of stuff Jeff, and maybe BNL has two Billboard Awards to your zero!
Jeff Winger : Oh, okay, they're BNL now? We need a shorthand for the Barenaked Ladies. That's how fundamental they are.
Abed Nadir : Fundamental.
Jeff Winger : You know what Pierce probably needs more than anything? Some space. Maybe I do too.
Britta Perry : [yelling angrily] You know what? Maybe we all need some space, to pull the knife out of the back of the most celebrated Canadian alt-rock band of the mid 90s, you selfish, jaded ass!
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Annie Edison : So, like, would you change clothes in front of her?
Britta Perry : Annie, I know your lack of world experience creates curiosity, but questions like that can make you seem a bit homophobic.
Annie Edison : It's homophobic to ask questions?
Britta Perry : If you have to ask if it's homophobic to ask questions, haven't you already answered your own question?
Annie Edison : Have I?
Britta Perry : Don't know. Not a homophobe.
Annie Edison : [spots Page] Oh.
Britta Perry : Oh. There's Page. Should I ask her 500 questions about being a lesbian? Or should I just treat her like a normal person? That's a question you can ask.
[Britta walks over to greet Page]
Britta Perry : Hey, how are you?
Page : What's going on?
Claire : [Claire joins Annie] Hey.
Annie Edison : Hi.
Claire : I'm not a lesbian.
Annie Edison : Oh. I'm not either.
Claire : Oh.
Annie Edison : But it's cool that you're friends with one.
Claire : Oh. Page isn't a lesbian. She just likes hanging out with Britta. It makes her feel cool to have a lesbian friend.
[chuckles uncomfortably]
Claire : Heh, heh.
Annie Edison : But, Britta's not a lesbian. She thinks that Page is.
[gasps]
Britta Perry : [Britta joins Annie and Claire] Guess what, Annie. Page and I are going to the dance together. Hope I stay straight, right?
[clicks tongue]
Britta Perry : [to Claire] Oh, sorry, my friend's a tad homophobic, so I was doing a bit.
Claire : Oh... heh.
Britta Perry : [exits] Bye.
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Pierce Hawthorne : Lesbians!
Britta Perry , Page : [unison] Screw you.
[nervously chuckles]
Britta Perry , Page : Heh. Heh. L...
Britta Perry : No, no. I don't care what they say.
Page : Oh, I don't either. I wish it wasn't such an issue for them.
Britta Perry : Yeah, but that starts with us. That starts with us.
[both laugh nervously]
Page : [both begin kissing awkwardly]
[crowd murmuring]
Page : [Annie and Claire watch nonplussed] I've never done this before.
Britta Perry : Me neither.
Britta Perry , Page : [unison] Wait, what?
Man : Bring it.
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Britta Perry : I never said I was a lesbian. Why didn't you just ask me?
Page : Oh, what am I, a homophobe? I don't care about people's preferences.
Britta Perry : You so care. You were clearly just hanging out with me because you thought I was gay.
Page : So, what you were doing with me?
Britta Perry : Hey, what does it matter, you know? We're both just humans trying to make our way through this crazy world.
Page : You're the worst.
Britta Perry : What?
Page : And for the record, I never thought you were cool. I only thought you were a lesbian.
[exits]
Britta Perry : [Annie enters] Page is straight.
Annie Edison : Really? Well, when she was gay, I thought it was really cool of you to make out with her.
Britta Perry : Thanks, Annie.
[Annie and Britta embrace]
Man : Come on. Kiss her!
[Britta scoffs, Annie leans in]
Britta Perry : Annie.
[Britta shakes Annie]
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Britta Perry , Page : [laughter] Bye.
Britta Perry : [Britta walks in the study room] That's my friend, Page. She's cool, but... whatever.
Troy Barnes : She's cute.
Britta Perry : Oh, Troy.
[chuckles]
Britta Perry : Heh. Before you go barking up that tree, I have to tell you she might not be interested.
Annie Edison : Why wouldn't she be...?
[gasps]
Annie Edison : Oh. Is she a friend of Ellen?
Britta Perry : Yes, Annie, but you can say the word. Page is a... lesbian.
[all heads turn to look at Pierce]
Britta Perry : Pierce, as someone who's been calling me a lesbian for the last year and a half, I'm sure you don't have anything to say about me being friends with one.
Pierce Hawthorne : Nothing off the cuff. What I do have is a prepared statement.
[Pierce opens his satchel on the table, changes his glasses, pulls out his statement and inhales deeply, cut to intro]
Pierce Hawthorne : [intro ends] ... And in summation, good luck and bon appétit.
[group is nonplussed]
Jeff Winger : Many, many paragraphs of that were oddly supportive.
Pierce Hawthorne : Wait till you hear the one I have for you.
[Pierce takes a pill]
Shirley Bennett : Okay, I know that wasn't gum.
Pierce Hawthorne : You're right. It was an awesome exit pill.
[Pierce rises]
Pierce Hawthorne : Zip, zop, zooey. Bye.
[Pierce moonwalks exit, all heads turn to look at Jeff]
