Hot in Cleveland (TV Series)
The Sex That Got Away (2010)
Jane Leeves: Joy Scroggs
Quotes
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[first lines]
Victoria Chase : Ice. I need ice.
Joy Scroggs : I realize it's happy hour somewhere, but isn't it a bit early even for you?
Victoria Chase : It happens to be an emergency.
[holding ice tray against the side of her neck]
Victoria Chase : I pulled a muscle fastening my bra.
Elka Ostrovsky : What's going on?
Joy Scroggs : Victoria's having a senior moment.
Elka Ostrovsky : Oh, I have those all the time. I can be walking along, happy as a clam, and suddenly I get this overwhelming urge to hit some young person with a stick.
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Victoria Chase : Oh, Lord, Hailey Nash! All those dreadful female empowerment songs.
Joy Scroggs : Her music takes me back to a time when music sucked.
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Melanie Moretti : You *know* Johnny Revere!
Victoria Chase : Every inch of him. One night he pulled me from the audience to dance on stage and gave me a back-stage pass to the best six months of my life.
Joy Scroggs : Then why is he a bastard?
Victoria Chase : Because, half-way through the tour, he left me stranded on a corner in Winslow, Arizona.
Melanie Moretti : Wait, isn't that an Eagles song?
Victoria Chase : Never tell Don Henley anything in confidence when you're doing shots.
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Joy Scroggs : Ooh, that sounds very satisfying. I've never thrown a drink at a man. I mean, I've slapped a couple of faces, egged a few cars, set the odd house on fire, but never the drink in the face. Oh, this is going to be fun!
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Joy Scroggs : Well, that was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. And I used to wax Roseanne.
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Victoria Chase : I am definitely going to need an emergency wax.
Elka Ostrovsky : But your eyebrows look fine.
Victoria Chase : Oh, it's not my eyebrows I'm worried about.
Joy Scroggs : Do you think I carry a portable waxing kit?
Victoria Chase : Joy, please!
Joy Scroggs : OK, fine!
[picks up a candle and serviette from the table]
Joy Scroggs : I'll MacGyver it.
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Melanie Moretti : I just hope when Hailey gets my note she forgives me.
Joy Scroggs : What note?
Melanie Moretti : Oh, I paid the bartender to slip her an apology and a CD to autograph, so that way if I get it back in the mail I know she's forgiven me.
Joy Scroggs : And if you get a restraining order, you'll know she hasn't.
Melanie Moretti : Oh, no!
Joy Scroggs : They're not that bad. You'd be surprised how much trash talking you can do from three hundred feet.
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[last lines]
Joy Scroggs : Oh, don't feel so bad, Melanie. I didn't know about Elton John *or* George Michael. I thought he wanted *my* sex.
Melanie Moretti : I didn't even know the Village People were gay.
Victoria Chase : Yeah, they kind of ruined that cowboys with short shorts and a moustache look for straight guys.
Elka Ostrovsky : In my day nobody knew anything about anyone. Rock Hudson. Tab Hunter. I had a big thing for Liberace.
Melanie Moretti : You thought Liberace was straight.
Elka Ostrovsky : I could have turned him.