Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt (TV Series)

Mitsubachi no zawameki/Sekkusu ando za daten shiti (2010)

Monica Rial: Stocking

Photos 

Quotes 

• Panty : WHAT THE FUCK? Put it back on! Seriously, he's about to hogtie me. You don't want to miss it.

  Mick : What the hell were you thinking, Panty? My God, were you thinking at all? Betsy Johnson, your debut film is porn! You made a sex tape!

  Panty : WHAT? SERIOUS?

  Mick : As genital warts.

  Panty : So, it was just direct-to-video? Well, that explains why I haven't won an Oscar yet.

  Mick : That's not it! There's a bigger problem! You don't understand!

  Panty : Not any good? Is that what you're trying to tell me?

  Mick : Oh, no. You're very good, honey.

  Panty : Yeah?

  Mick : That's not the point!

  Panty : What the fuck is the point, then? SHIT!

  Stocking : The point is you have three brain cells left and they're all biting for your attention. Why won't you play your crackified porno during our movie premiere? Now, that's all anyone can think about!

  Mick : I hate to be the one to pretend, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but leaking sex tapes is known as career suicide.

  Panty : So, it's over? No more group sex? No more naked men covered in sushi? No more spring break body shots? God, I hate it here!

  Stocking : I know. Why don't you go shoplift? It'll take the edge off.

  Panty : Hold the ballsack. I've got an idea!

  [she makes Chuck eat the VHS] 

  Panty : Fuck it. The whole thing never happened. That was easier than I thought it would be. I do love happy endings.

  Stocking : You stupid cuntstipation! That was one copy. Someone already put that shit on the internet! Can you imagine fucking that ape in HD or better yet, how's Blu-ray sound to you? Damn it! How slow can you possibly be? God just did not design you for thinking, did He? Either that, or He put your brain in your clit.

  Panty : I don't know what the fuck kind of shit you're trying to say, but I know it reeks of asshole, asshole! Why don't you just admit that you're jealous? It kills you to see my classic bone structure and ass I won't quit on the big screen! Heh. No need to clean up. My maid will get - What the fuck?

• Panty : Has this been any more fucking predictable?

  Stocking : Nope. She's a queen, she's a bee, she's a queen bee, we fucking get it!

• Stocking : "Innocent yet sexy are the words most commonly used to describe the luscious, young sex symbol who has recently made a comeback. No more dangling babies over balconies or breaking windows, Panty has made a fresh new start." Shitballs, she is not that innocent. Come on. I just had a puddingasm! That sticky goo in my mouth all day! She's here, ten thousand years later. Whore. How's it going over there, Panty?

  Panty : Just dandy. Hey, remember that time you made a really fucked up commercial?

  Stocking : [from commercial]  Place my doughnut. Eat my doughnut. I got a doughnut for you!

  Panty : Hahahaha! Fuck him with a chainsaw, girl! That was hilarious! Haha!

  Stocking : Suck a cow tit, skank!

  Panty : Only if you're serving it with your glazed doughnut holes. Too bad you got fired.

  Stocking : I wasn't fired. I just refused to sell out, unlike some whores I know. I prefer to keep it on the D.O. I don't wanna fuck up our premiere unlike you.

  Panty : Fine. Sit there and flick it while my pampered white ass gets famous without ya!

  Stocking : That reminds me. Make sure to warn the ushers at the movie to leave an extra seat for that pampered ass to spread out.

• Panty : I don't see no ghost!

  Stocking : Who you gonna call, mother bitches?

• Panty : Aw, that was a good look for you. Why'd you take it off? So, hey. What the fuck is that?

  Queen Barbie : Ew, gross. Is that Barby-wanna be I smell? I have no idea who you are or who you're pretending to be but allow me to share something really important to you. This school belongs to moi.

  Panty : You the fucking janitor?

  Stocking : Yeah, 'cause we met the principal and he's hotter.

  Queen Barbie : My name's Barby. You may also refer to me as Queen Barby, Her Majesty or goddess. Allow them to demonstrate.

  Students : Hail Barby! Queen Barby! Her Majesty! Goddess!

  Panty : You're working way too hard there. Did she seriously refer to herself as Barbie, like the outdated fetish doll with a zillion lame-ass occupations?

  Stocking : She did and I'm allergic to plastic. Let's get out of here before we catch slut-face.

  Queen Barbie : Oh, no! No one walks out in the middle of my being worshiped and how dare you call me plastic!

• Stocking : What did you just pull out of your ass?

  Panty : Oh, please. You don't know. Here. Why don't you try this on? And next time, do some motherfucking research! Debut, my ass! Fuckwit.