- Manny Delgado: [after unplugging the karaoke machine on Jay] You keep this up, and this won't be the last plug I pull.
- Cameron Tucker: What are we gonna do?
- Luke Dunphy: I could start a fire.
- Cameron Tucker: No. Well, keep that in your back pocket.
- Alex Dunphy: I wanna hear the specials.
- Haley Dunphy: Uh, we're out of specials.
- Alex Dunphy: What where they?
- Haley Dunphy: Popular. Which you wouldn't understand.
- Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: You didn't do one thing wrong. You do everything wrong!
- [Sprays Phil with water bottle]
- Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: I don't even know why she talks to you.
- Phil Dunphy: She said she was okay.
- Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: No. No woman is okay with this. We don't forget. We wait. And then, when you least expect it, we make you pay.
- Mitchell Pritchett: Yes, I put Cam's invites in my car to take 'em to the post office and then threw my gym bag on top of them and completely forgot they existed.
- [sighs]
- Mitchell Pritchett: I feel terrible. Haven't been to the gym in six weeks.
- [pause]
- Mitchell Pritchett: And I ruined Cam's event.
- Luke Dunphy: Are you gonna get upset and start eating all the appetizers again?
- Cameron Tucker: It is amazing what you notice and what you don't notice.
- [Gestures at Luke's open fly]
- Claire Dunphy: [Gloria walks by vocalizing] I take it you haven't had your conversation with Gloria yet?
- Jay Pritchett: It's gettin' worse. She sang all the way here. We passed two cars - the dogs stuck their heads back inside the window.