- Major Monogram: Anyhow, as you've apparently noticed, there's been an unusual amount of rain in the Tri-State area. Call us crazy but we're thinking Doofenshmirtz. Investigate and stop him at all costs. Well, maybe at a reasonable cost. We... I mean, we don't want to blow the whole budget on this one scheme, do we?
- Jeremy: [trying to tell Candace why he likes her, in song] All throughout history men fall in love with women. You wanna know why, well, let's start from the beginnin'. I've come to set the record straight. I've come to set the record straight. From scientific propagation of the species, to poets and philosophers - your Baudelaires an Nietzsches - I've come to set the record straight. I've come to set the record straight. But if you're askin' for specifics, well, this isn't hieroglyphics. If you wanna know sincerely, listen up, I'll tell you clearly. What I like about you is...
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Wow, I set up this whole thing with lasers and flypaper, falling cages, spinning platforms, on the way to a trapdoor and you just come and slip on a chair, and waste a day's worth of work. Eh.
- [Perry emerges from the hole in the ground in a green glass tube]
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: But it's gonna look great on the Christmas party gag reel!
- [laughs]
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Of course, it'll just be me at the party, uh... yeah.
- [sighs]
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I need a laugh at the holidays.