The Hangover Part III (2013)

Bradley Cooper: Phil

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Phil : What the fuck is wrong with those chickens?

  Mr. Chow : They're angry. All I feed them is cocaine. And chicken.

• Phil : [Struggling to climb down a rope off the roof of Caesar's Palace]  Agh. I'm okay.

  Alan : Hey, Phil!

  Phil : What's wrong?

  Alan : Hold on a second.

  [Gets out phone to take a picture] 

  Alan : Kick yourself out a little bit.

  Phil : Alan...

  Alan : Stay still!

  Phil : Alan!... Did you get it?

• Phil : Hey, what's your password?

  Alan : Hey Phil?

  Phil : Yeah?

  Alan : No, that's it.

  Phil : What?

  Alan : That's my password. Hey Phil.

• Phil : Damn it! I left my phone in the Minivan.

  Alan : Oh Phil, I have that find my phone app.

  Phil : Alan, we have bigger problems than that at the moment.

  Stu : No wait. If Chow has the minivan and your phone is in the minivan that means your phone is with Chow.

  Alan : Stu, you heard Phil. We have bigger problems than that.

• Alan : You know what, guys. You can go ahead without me. There's something I need to do.

  Stu : Do you even know how to get home?

  Alan : Of course I do. I'm a grown man. I'll ask a stranger.

  Phil : Good luck, Alan. We'll see you soon.

• [the Wolf Pack wake up in a honeymoon suite] 

  Stu : [sees he has implants]  I have boobies now!

  Cassie : [laughs]  Oh my God...

  Phil : [laughs]  Holy shit!

  Stu : It's not funny! Alan, what did you do? What did you do, Alan?

  Alan : The wedding cake... it was from Leslie...

  [Chow enters, naked and brandishing a sword] 

  Mr. Chow : [laughs]  We had a sick night, bitches!

  [the monkey jumps back on Stu] 

• Alan : Leslie, get down from there! Please, you're gonna hurt yourself!

  Mr. Chow : Nothing hurts Chow. I am invisible!

  Phil : It's invincible, and you're not, you're just out of your fucking mind!

• Marshall : Doug is my insurance. He stays with me. You don't get me Chow, I blow his brains out. You go to the cops, I blow his brains out.

  Phil : But, that's insane! We don't even know where the fuck he is!

  Marshall : Nobody does, but I figure the Wolf Pack has the best chance of finding him. You have three days. Get to work.

  Alan : Can you take Stu instead?

  Stu : Fuck you, Alan!

• [Marshall brings Stu, Phil, and Alan to his villa] 

  Marshall : Leslie Chow never lived here. You didn't break into his old house, you broke into MY house.

  Phil : I don't understand.

  Marshall : You didn't get back the gold he stole from me. You got the other half that he didn't.

  Stu : Oh, my GOD!

  Phil : You mean the half he never had?

  Marshall : He's a world-class rat, and you 3 were his accomplices.

  Stu : We had no idea!

  Phil : We were trying to help you! We thought you'd be happy!

  Marshall : [sarcastically]  Thank you so much! Thank you for ripping me off! Thank you for desecrating my home! And THANK YOU FOR KILLING MY FUCKING DOGS!

  Stu : We didn't kill your dogs! They're just tranquilized.

  Marshall : Oh, right. You don't know. Chow snapped their necks on his way out.

  Stu : What?

  Black Doug : And somebody's gotta pay.

  Marshall : He's right.

  [points his gun at the Dougs] 

  Doug : No no no no, NO!

  [Marshall shoots Black Doug and his body splashes into the pool] 

  Marshall : My head of security, couldn't stop 3 fuck-ups and a Chinaman with a pair of wire cutters. Unreal.

• Stu : This is so much harder than you realise, Phil. I'm just a dentist!

  Phil : No, Stu, you're a fucking doctor. Now go get him!

• Alan : She's my soulmate and my new best friend. Plus, she lets me mount her, which relaxes me.

  Phil : Oh my God.

  Doug : Uh, Alan, maybe never say that part again.

  Alan : Chillax, Doug. We're all adults here. I know you mount my sister. I've seen it. Many times.

• Phil : No that's perfect, that's like a three hour drive from here.

  Alan : Yeah Stu, try reading a map.

  Stu : Yeah Alan, try reading... anything... ever.

  Alan : Yeah Stu, try having not such big horse teeth.

• [from trailer] 

  [back in Vegas] 

  Stu : I told myself, I would never come back.

  Phil : Don't worry, it all ends tonight...

• Phil : I was just talking to Cassie. She's an amazing woman.

  Alan : Oh, thank you for saying that. She is an amazing woman. I find her much better than your wives.

• Alan : I almost died Phil!

  Phil : Come on! I was not going to let you go you're my boy!

  Alan : And you're my man!

• Phil : [to Alan while driving the Wolf Pack to Arizona]  You know I meant to tell you earlier. That's a very cool vest you got on.

  Alan : Thanks Phil it was my Dad's. He died in it.

  Stu : Whoa! That's intense!

• Mr. Chow : Who sent you?

  Phil : No one! No. We just wanted to see you!

  Mr. Chow : Liar! No one wants to see Chow!