- Det. Supt. Sandra Pullman: [about the unidentified victim] And actually, can we stop referring to him as 'him' or 'the victim'. Let's dignify him with a name or something.
- Brian Lane: Tom.
- Jack Halford: Dick.
- Jack Halford, Gerry Standing, Brian Lane: Harry!
- Det. Supt. Sandra Pullman: Harry.
- Brian Lane: How did someone like me end up with someone as gorgeous and fantastic as you?
- Esther Lane: [pretending to be smug] That's a question I often ask myself.
- [last lines]
- Brian Lane: What's wrong?
- Jack Halford: Don't know. Won't start. I don't believe it; the battery's dead!
- Brian Lane: That's all right; we'll take the tube.
- Jack Halford: [yells] Taxi!
- Jack Halford: Mr Allenforth? Sorry, Mr Allenforth, just one more thing if you wouldn't mind?
- Charles Allenforth: One last thing.
- Jack Halford: [to Police Officer later named as John] Give us a minute will you?
- Jack Halford: [to Charles Allenforth] We know you murdered your brother. Oh, not you personally, I'm sure you always get somebody else to do your dirty work but that's not really what I wanted to talk about. These are the DNA profiles for you, your brother David and Mr. Peter Offord.
- Charles Allenforth: Fascinating, I'm sure.
- Jack Halford: Yes, particularly when you realise that you and your brother share the same mother but not the same father.
- Charles Allenforth: I'm sorry?
- Jack Halford: This morning I contacted the war records office at Kew and the Gloucestershire regiment - your father's old outfit. Peter David Allenforth was killed at Imjin, Korea on April the 23rd 1951 and you were born, erm...
- [Feigns thinking about it]
- Charles Allenforth: March
- Jack Halford: March, March of the same year, that's right. Now according to the records your father was in Korea for 18 months straight before he was killed. In other words, he couldn't have been here when you were conceived therefore he couldn't be your real father.
- Charles Allenforth: [Angry] Who the hell do you think you are?
- Jack Halford: Oh, I know who I am - that's the whole point. Now I can't prove that you murdered your brother but I can pass this DNA information on to Mr. Peter Offord who I suspect might want to be in touch. For although he is illegitimate, he is the son of the legitimate heir and I think that trumps you.
- [Turns and leaves disbelieving Mr Allenforth]
- Jack Halford: John, escort this gentleman off the premises would you?
- [first lines]
- Det. Supt. Sandra Pullman: Last week, Peter Offord, a forty-three-year-old plumber, was arrested on suspicion of a warehouse robbery in Wembley, but his DNA didn't match any found at the scene. However, it did show a link to a man found strangled on a tube train *here* in March ninety-six. Dead man's identity has never been established.
- Jack Halford: Until now?
- Det. Supt. Sandra Pullman: Turns out Peter Offord was that murder victim's son.
- Gerry Standing: Yeah? How'd he react to that?
- Det. Supt. Sandra Pullman: Never knew his dad, apparently; he was brought up alone by his mum.
- Gerry Standing: Hmh.
- Brian Lane: But I don't understand; if this fellow died on the tube, then surely this is one for the British Transport Police.
- Det. Supt. Sandra Pullman: Yeah, well, since two thousand two, the Commissioner and the Transport Police Chief Constable confer on such cases, and it's been mutually agreed that UCOS should take this one on.
- Gerry Standing: What she means is it's been dumped on us.
- Jack Halford: Any scene of crime photos?
- Det. Supt. Sandra Pullman: Nope.
- Jack Halford: List of suspects?
- Det. Supt. Sandra Pullman: No scene of crime photos, no list of suspects and we don't even know the victim's name.
- Gerry Standing: Well, what happened to him?
- Det. Supt. Sandra Pullman: He was strangled face to face.
- Gerry Standing: What sort of bloke was he?
- Det. Supt. Sandra Pullman: A vagrant.
- Brian Lane: What, a tramp?
- Gerry Standing: Oh, great!