"Nostalgia Critic" The Tommyknockers (TV Episode 2011) - Doug Walker as Nostalgia Critic

Davey : Can I sleep in your bed tonight?

Hilly : Sure. Back we go, all warm and safe and toasty.

Nostalgia Critic : I don't like the way he said that. I don't like the way he's snuggling with him either. You know, Maine is sick. You know that, Maine? You're very sick.
Nostalgia Critic : [sung to the tune of "Gilligan's Isle"] The people live in Maine, of course; there's no where else to live, with The Writer! The Alchoholic too! The Adulterer and his whoore! Some dumb rednecks, a disappointing resolution! Here in Stephen King's Maine!
Nostalgia Critic : Even Darth Vader would be like, "Dude, you're a fucking ass!"
Nostalgia Critic : [as monster in the closet] Zuuul Mother Fucker -

[Davey slams the door on the monster]

Nostalgia Critic : OW. Son of a bitch, ow.
Jim Gardner : [standing near a window] If you remember nothing else in this world, remember this: God hates a coward.

Nostalgia Critic : Well, there's only one dignified way to exit this scene.

[Jim jumps out the window and falls to the ground]

Nostalgia Critic : I'm sorry. I know we're supposed to feel sorry for him, but... that's like the ending to a 'Goofy' cartoon.

[the same clip is shown again, this time with the Goofy yell]
Nostalgia Critic : [seeing Jim trying to fence with an umbrella] Oh no, he's been taking fencing lessons from Burgess Meredith!

Doug Walker: Nostalgia Critic