- Nick Cameron: You're getting pretty good at that Chubs, had a few lonely nights there?
- Ralph Chubbles: You wouldn't believe how much ass I've gotten.
- Martin Callahan: Sure princess.
- Nick Cameron: We're setting up and baking cookies.
- Ralph Chubbles: That would've been cute a year ago, when you guys were dating...
- Ralph Chubbles: You still dating her?
- Pat North: Yeah, it's been like two and a half years.
- Ralph Chubbles: That blows.
- Ralph Chubbles: I didn't know we had a bedtime after college?
- Martin Callahan: We didn't, but lucky for us we came home.
- Ralph Chubbles: What the hell does that mean?
- Ralph Chubbles: So you and Nick, huh? I see some things never change.
- Jamie Simpson: I see you still think with your penis.
- Ralph Chubbles: Hasn't failed me yet!
- Pat North: It's just, she won't...
- Martin Callahan: Oh, I got ya.
- Pat North: No, it's just, she won't say "I love you".
- Martin Callahan: Can't help you there.
- Pat North: There are some things worth fighting for, and when you don't get what you want you either keep fighting or let go.
- Pat North: Martin, you are an enigma. You must do real well with the ladies.
- Martin Callahan: Hey, the ladies love a good mystery.
- Pat North: I'm with this beautiful girl on this beautiful beach.
- Cass Edwards: Our feet are covered in mud and we're at the edge of a reservoir!
- Ralph Chubbles: Yeah, it kicked ass last year!
- [Two attractive girls walk by]
- Ralph Chubbles: Speaking of ass.
- Martin Callahan: Speaking of ass.
- Martin Callahan: I don't think she wants to be another notch on Chub's bed post.
- Ralph Chubbles: Hey, shut the hell up Martin!
- Nick Cameron: Personally, I like the ginger ale.
- Jessie Howard: I'm thinking it's an RC kind of night.
- Nick Cameron: Well, no one's perfect.
- Ralph Chubbles: So i'm sitting there with this epipen in my hand, trying to do my homework while making sure she doesn't go into a coma from eating a peanut.
- Tammy Alexis: That's crazy!
- Ralph Chubbles: Definitely an interesting way of meeting someone.
- Ralph Chubbles: How was your night?
- Martin Callahan: I just got slapped in the face.
- Ralph Chubbles: Did you deserve it?
- Ralph Chubbles: They lost in the ninth inning.
- Martin Callahan: Look, I really don't care man. I'm looking to get laid tonight, you want to be my wingman?
- Ralph Chubbles: She completely overreacted!
- Martin Callahan: I wouldn't start with that. I'd start with something more like "I'm sorry" or "Please forgive me", and then follow up with a bunch of groveling.
- Ralph Chubbles: You're no help.
- Martin Callahan: You're the one who asked me to come over here.
- Ralph Chubbles: No I didn't.
- Martin Callahan: That's beside the point!
- Ralph Chubbles: I don't want to hurt you again.
- Tammy Alexis: That's good, because I'd kick your ass.
- Nick Cameron: Looks like they decided to kill two birds with one stone.
- Jamie Simpson: We should give those three more credit.
- Nick Cameron: No. No we shouldn't.
- Ralph Chubbles: Listen Tammy, you're the only girl I've ever had real feelings for. And I've been with a lot of girls...