Derrick Pierce: Badass School Girl Cookie Customer

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Badass School Girl Cookie Salesgirl : Hi, would you like to buy some of my Badass School Girl Cookies?

  Badass School Girl Cookie Customer : Yeah, you know what? I'd love to buy 'em. All of 'em, actually. As many as you fuckin' have, I'll take 'em all. If you got a whole carload of 'em, just back it up right here and start shoveling 'em in my fuckin' entryway.

  Badass School Girl Cookie Salesgirl : You're kind of a... a *dick*!

• Badass School Girl Cookie Customer : [takes a bite of cookie]  They taste like shit. They're horrible.

  Badass School Girl Cookie Salesgirl : *I* like 'em.

  Badass School Girl Cookie Customer : I mean, why should I buy these cookies? They're terrible every single time. They're terrible.

  Badass School Girl Cookie Salesgirl : Because... um... because I suck a mean dick.

  Badass School Girl Cookie Customer : All right. That works.