Hitman: Absolution (2012 Video Game)

Joel McCrary: Dr. Raymond Valentine, Bar Biker, Dexter Industries Guards, Hope Civilians, Fight Night Announcer, Agency Soldiers, Hope Court Lawyers, Blackwater Penthouse Guards

Quotes 

• Mansion Guard : [on the phone]  Talk to me. What's the situation? I'll hang on, yeah.

  Mansion Guard : What? You're kidding me... wait... are you sure? It's not prostate cancer?

  [laughs] 

  Mansion Guard : I could kiss you I mean that's great news, oh man. You made my day.

  Mansion Guard : Yeah thanks doc, yeah. Woo man I thought I was a goner. Yeah. Uh doc, I gotta run, duty calls. And thank you so much, you have a nice day too. Yeah, bye.

  Mansion Guard : Woo man, no one can piss on this day.

• Bar Biker : Hey, boy. Something I can help you with?

  Kane : Just waiting for my associate. He's back in town buying equipment.

  Bar Biker : Is that so? Well, what kind of equipment would that be?

  Kane : Just equipment. Business equipment.

  Bar Biker : I see, big businessman. Well, you just watch yourself now 'cause we don't care much for strangers out here.

  Kane : I'm not looking for trouble.

• James Seth Lynch : [shooting up lawn gnomes next to the range]  Stop staring at me, you twisted little fairy! Goddamn little fairies. Imps. Trolls.

  Gun Shop Worker : Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Hey! Listen to me. What did I tell you about my gnomes? You just stop it, okay? Or I'll kick your crazy ass outta here! And I'll do it! You just watch.

  James Seth Lynch : I'd like to see you fucking try. Fucking midgets ain't what you think! Staring at me... rolling around those little eye sockets. What am I gonna... Twinkly little eyes... fuckin'...

  Gun Shop Worker : Well, if you don't like the gnomes, you can take your business elsewhere. Now I am serious. You just keep shooting my gnomes and we got troubles, you and I. You understand?

  James Seth Lynch : Yeah, yeah... whatever, you fucking asshole. Fucking gnome fucker. Fucking troll fucker. You... ah, you fucker.