- Talent: Anything up there that moves or smells is food to the polar bear. Anything.
- Karl Pilkington - Presenter: They actually dig you out?
- Talent: If you're in a shelter, yeah. They dig you right out of there.
- Karl Pilkington - Presenter: Maybe that's why not many people stay in igloos now, isn't it? I mean, that's like a fridge full of food.
- Woman: [handing him a ziplock bag] We eat it fresh, or eat it frozen.
- Karl Pilkington - Presenter: It's just that when I said I came here to see a whale, I meant swimming. Not in a carrier bag.
- Karl Pilkington - Presenter: I've seen a lot of whale bones knocking about. Everywhere you look. They're just dotted around. Big massive whale bones. I mean, that's the problem with eating whale when you think about it. It's not like a chicken where you can just give the bones to a cat or stick it in the bin. You've got a big massive bone about the size of a Ford Fiesta. Everyone knows what you've had for your tea. It's out in the garden. Big massive bone. Can't get shut off.
- Karl Pilkington - Presenter: [standing in snow-covered landscape] What's the point in this program being in HD? It's a waste of time being in colour. It's giving me a headache.
- Richard: He wants you to appreciate the damage that global warming is doing.
- Karl Pilkington - Presenter: It's not me who wants to be told. It's Suzanne at home. She's into wasting energy. Hair dryer. Doing her hair all the time. No, I don't do that. I am energy efficient 'cause I'm bald. I'm not wasting hot water washing me hair. No hair dryer. If she cared so much, shave her head.
- Talent: You alright?
- Karl Pilkington - Presenter: [exhausted] Yeah. You're using all me breath up. You keep saying, "you alright," I've got to say yeah, then I use my breath up.
- Talent: Okay. You sure?
- [last lines]
- Ricky Gervais - Executive Producer: [on voice message] Alright, um, I hope you enjoyed the whales. Amazing. I just wanted to put your mind at rest. I know you missed that prostate exam. But do not worry, I've arranged for you to have one as soon as you get back in England. So, um, yeah, relax. Alright buddy, see ya later.