- Gunter Vogler: Think how many entertaining movies there are thanks to Hitler. Without him, would Sophie have a choice? Would Schindler have a list? Would Jurassic have a park?
- Gunter Vogler: I'm running late for a tryst. When a man is late, he's cool. When a woman is late, she's pregnant. Remember: always wear watches and condoms.
- Johann Tannhauser: I will crush him. I will best him with my knowledge, honed by this board, honed from your mind, sucked into my mind, and then blown out in a very usable way. Racken may be the master of Parcheesi, but I will be a master of chess.