Holliston (TV Series)

Camera Rental: Part 1 (2012)

Joe Lynch: Joe

Quotes 

• Joe : Shh. Go back to bed.

• Adam : Boss, don't you think you're getting a bit... old... to make it in a band?

  Lance Rockett : It could still happen.

  Joe : It's a cover band.

  Lance Rockett : So.

  Adam : You're fifty-four.

  Lance Rockett : Rock is ageless- David Lee Roth 1983.

  Adam : David Lee Roth got kicked out of the band and replaced by Sammy...

  Lance Rockett : -HEY! We don't speak his name.

  Adam : My bad.

  Lance Rockett : Alright, I gotta get going to band practice. I gotta shave my abs for the ladies in the front row.

  [Sniffs Joe's neck] 

  Lance Rockett : New cologne, Joe? Smells delicious.

• Joe : We're renting a camera, not scoring Oxy like last time.

• Joe : Mighty Putty, Bitch.

• Laura : I'm hungry.

  Joe : [Spits out his gum into his hand]  Here.

  Laura : Gum?

  Joe : Bubbalicious.

  Laura : You spoil me.

  [Puts the gum in her own mouth] 

• Corri : What's with the Hamburgler outfit?

  Adam : I don't want to get caught renting a stolen camera with Mayor McCheese... Mayor McSteels-a-lot... Mayor Mc... whatever, there's a joke in there somewhere.

  Laura : Stolen camera?

  Joe : It's not stolen, it's borrowed, and it's fine.

  Adam : Mayor McDouche.

  Joe : Too late.

• Joe : Babe, don't worry I have it all figured out. It will be totally fine and it's not gonna hurt anyone.

  Laura : You always say it's not gonna hurt and then I can't poop right for days.

  [Off of Adam and Corri's stunned faces] 

  Laura : What? One time we ate a bunch of laxatives to try and loose weight.

• Adam : We just lost the camera. We can't afford a new HD camera. We're gonna get fired. And then we're gonna get evicted. We're never gonna get our movie made and you're gonna get syphilis.

  Joe : Would you stop. We're gonna be fine- why do I get syphilis?

  Adam : Because, dude. Because.

• Adam : That's how we get out of losing the camera!

  Corri : What camera?

  Adam : [Pushing her aside]  We're back to the A story line. OK, so we borrowed the camera... to shoot Lance's cover band's show.

  Laura : Lance is still in a cover band? Isn't he like 50?

  Joe : Long story. Go on.

  Adam : OK. So on our way to the show... uh... we got robbed by... uh...

  [Points at Laura] 

  Adam : ... by a big Mexican!

  Joe : Dude!

  Laura : No, it's OK. I'm Colombian. Go on.

  Adam : OK. There was a struggle, we got roughed up, guy ran away with the camera.

• Joe : Wait, what's that!

  Laura : Give me the camera Gringos or Britney Spear here gets it!

  Joe : No way! This camera belongs to Mass Cablevision!

  Adam : Yeah! You'll have to kill us first!

  Laura : Gimme the camera or I'll kill Blondie!

  Adam : Fine, kill her!

  Laura : Hmm.

  Corri : What?

  Laura : I'll do it!

  Adam : [Throws Corri away into some trash barrels]  You'll never take this camera from us, scary ethnic man. Now...

  [Puts his fists up] 

  Adam : ... let's dance.

  Laura : [Terribly choreographed and repetitive swing]  Hught- huh! Hught - huh!

  Adam : [Terribly choreographed and repetitive duck and swing]  Eey-hught! Huh! Eey-hught! Huh!

• Joe : Dropping loads!