Eric Mark: Tom Caudell
Quotes
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Tom Caudell : With a lot of practice, enough lube, and a can-do attitude, why the hell not?
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Tom Caudell : Camgirls? VR? You know? Porn! With all the websites out there, there's literally something for everyone. I mean, if you can think of it, a whole bunch of people are seriously into it!
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Tom Caudell : Ain't no one swiping right on the yellow man!
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Tom Caudell : Uh, hi... 'Aimee.' Is that your real name?
Aimee : Of course... 'Montgomery.' Everything about our relationship is real, right? We're all just looking for a little human connection - genuine contact - in life, right?
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Tom Caudell : Dude, I am sure there are tens of people in the world who would say your type is exactly their type!
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Tom Caudell : Hey, I am perfectly capable of, you know, taking care of myself? You know, technology and all.
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[last lines]
Tom Caudell : You're right. Real life is so much better.
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[first lines]
Tom Caudell : Boring... so mainstream... tedious... c'mon! There's got to be something better than this!
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Tom Caudell : Guys of Asian descent are, like, the least popular people on any of these sites. You're essentially paying for frustration and humiliation, and to not get any dates! I can do that pretty well for free!
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Tom Caudell : With all the websites out there, there's literally something for everyone. I mean, if you can think of it, a whole bunch of people are seriously into it!
Ivan Sutherland : Uh, you mean, like, ass play?
Tom Caudell : Absolutely!
Ivan Sutherland : GILFs?
Tom Caudell : Are you kidding me? Literally millions of people!
Ivan Sutherland : Fruits and vegetables?
Tom Caudell : What do you think?
Ivan Sutherland : Like... zucchinis?
Tom Caudell : Of course!
Ivan Sutherland : Um... what about, say, cantaloupes?
Tom Caudell : With a lot of practice, enough lube, and a can-do attitude, why the hell not?
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Aimee : I like what you've done with the place.
Tom Caudell : I didn't do - oh, ha ha.