South Park (TV Series)
Cash for Gold (2012)
Matt Stone: Kyle Broflovski, Butters Stotch, Kenny McCormick, Leroy, Dean, Manager
Quotes
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[Stan calls a jewelry shopping channel]
Stan Marsh : Yeah hi. Erm, you should kill yourself.
Dean - Jewelry Channel Host : What's that?
Stan Marsh : I said, "you should kill yourself." What you do is, sort of, unjustifiable. And you know it's unjustifiable. And you don't care. You're the definition of evil. Kill yourself.
Dean - Jewelry Channel Host : Okay, we're gonna sell this ring for just 37,95. How's that?
Stan Marsh : I just read that the day shopping networks make most of their money is on the day seniors pick up social security checks. Kill yourself.
Dean - Jewelry Channel Host : All right, well, you shouldn't say things like that, 'cause some host of a jewelry channel sure might up and do it. Then you'd feel really bad.
Stan Marsh : No, I wouldn't.
Dean - Jewelry Channel Host : Yes, you would.
Stan Marsh : No, because I really want you to kill yourself.
Dean - Jewelry Channel Host : All right, well how about this? If a jewelry network host goes home tonight and blows his brains out, you might be liable. That's a lawsuit worth 2.7 million dollars. How's that sound?
Stan Marsh : I don't care what happens to me. I care about my grandfather, you morally empty, corrupted maggot.
[silence]
Dean - Jewelry Channel Host : All right, I'll tell you what. I'll bring the lawsuit down to 29, 39...
Stan Marsh : No, no, it doesn't matter what price you put on anything. Your only chance to right the wrongs you've done and repay all the elderly people whose lives you've destroyed, is to kill yourself.
[silence]
Dean - Jewelry Channel Host : [clears his throat] Well, you think it's funny, but that's, that's calling up and telling someone to kill themselves. That's not a joke.
Stan Marsh : I'm not joking.
[pause]
Stan Marsh : Do it.
-
Old woman : Hello? I'm calling about the peridot earrings?
Dean - Jewelry Channel Host : Yes mam!
Old woman : They'd look good on your dead body, why don't you kill yourself?