Even Ingmar Bergman had his off-days, so it wasn't a total shock catching up with Lesbian cinema pioneer Nica Noelle's deeply flawed LESBIAN BABYSITTERS. The Sweetheart Video series has served the test of time and is up in double digits despite this wobbly start.
First off, the film is not about babysitting at all, and one of the "babysitters" of the title is not even a lesbian. Instead, Nica has cloaked her favorite theme, and that of most Sapphic auteurs, in sheep's clothing. This video is about lesbian predators horny for young women.
Noelle inserts herself (in a non-sex role) immediately into the script as the disappointed lover of Melissa Monet (herself to become a future director in Nica's footsteps). Monet is neglectful and the oomph has gone out of their relationship.
While Monet is out on one of her mysterious "long walks" (hint, hint), Nica's visited by mutual friend Michelle Lay, who tells her proudly about a predatory encounter she's concluded recently, shown in flashback. She picked up a young beauty (Satine Phoenix) in her building's laundry room, and offered a job as a babysitter. Lay isn't married and has no kids, but bamboozled Satine into an interview and seduced the student.
Commiserating on Satine's tearful issues with a departed boyfriend, Michelle soon satisfies the girl, and Nica is impressed with the lurid tale of smooching, fingering and tribbing.
We next see that Monet's long walk is to young Elexis Monroe's bedroom, where they have their at least weekly hop in the sack. With Monroe ironically the superstar of Nica's lesbian talent stable, this is stiff competition for the mature auteur. I especially enjoyed Elexis's hot performance here, with little or no (facial) makeup (she wears the requisite body makeup for sex of course).
Nica answers a babysitter's ad in the gay & lesbian gazette, and interviews Sinn Sage for the job, claiming to have 3 kids. Sinn corrects her at the meeting: "I'm an in-home child care specialist", the term babysitter apparently having gone the way of "stewardess". Nica confesses her false pretenses, and instead offers Sinn a large sum of money to act as a whore with Monet. This is the point at which Nica lost me completely with the feature - bad premise and ill-thought out resolution of storyline.
Pondering the big bucks offer, Sinn returns home to her older girlfriend Puma Swede, who endorses the oddball arrangement on the condition that "it's okay if it's only for money". I found this logic absurd and annoying, and given Puma's poor acting skills, this next segment of the busty imported player having at it with superstar Sinn was strictly for the fans of "all-sex" cinema.
Finale has Monet returning home that night (fresh from humping Elexis), promising Nica she will pay her lots of attention in future. Doorbell rings loudly, and Nica introduces Sinn with a minimal set-up to the ensuing Sinn/Melissa clinch in bed. Video ends after the last orgasm is achieved by the two, and not a thing has been addressed let alone resolved: namely, Monet's still undiscovered infidelity (ongoing) with Elexis; why sleeping with a hot young stranger will rekindle the romance between Nica and Melissa; will Sinn Sage give up subsistence babysitting gigs and become a hooker; and what direction Melissa will take now that she's got the heady experience of "I humped SINN SAGE!" out of her system.
I don't expect real babies to show up in a porn film (I didn't even mind the fake baby Clint Eastwood foisted on us in American SNIPER for that matter, a ploy Paul Thomas used once successully in THE MASSEUSE if memory serves), but I did find the total avoidance of babysitting a dumb element in LESBIAN BABYSITTERS. Future story lines had better introduce some sort of familial backdrop (after all, there are plenty of lesbian parents out there) or this series is a bust.
First off, the film is not about babysitting at all, and one of the "babysitters" of the title is not even a lesbian. Instead, Nica has cloaked her favorite theme, and that of most Sapphic auteurs, in sheep's clothing. This video is about lesbian predators horny for young women.
Noelle inserts herself (in a non-sex role) immediately into the script as the disappointed lover of Melissa Monet (herself to become a future director in Nica's footsteps). Monet is neglectful and the oomph has gone out of their relationship.
While Monet is out on one of her mysterious "long walks" (hint, hint), Nica's visited by mutual friend Michelle Lay, who tells her proudly about a predatory encounter she's concluded recently, shown in flashback. She picked up a young beauty (Satine Phoenix) in her building's laundry room, and offered a job as a babysitter. Lay isn't married and has no kids, but bamboozled Satine into an interview and seduced the student.
Commiserating on Satine's tearful issues with a departed boyfriend, Michelle soon satisfies the girl, and Nica is impressed with the lurid tale of smooching, fingering and tribbing.
We next see that Monet's long walk is to young Elexis Monroe's bedroom, where they have their at least weekly hop in the sack. With Monroe ironically the superstar of Nica's lesbian talent stable, this is stiff competition for the mature auteur. I especially enjoyed Elexis's hot performance here, with little or no (facial) makeup (she wears the requisite body makeup for sex of course).
Nica answers a babysitter's ad in the gay & lesbian gazette, and interviews Sinn Sage for the job, claiming to have 3 kids. Sinn corrects her at the meeting: "I'm an in-home child care specialist", the term babysitter apparently having gone the way of "stewardess". Nica confesses her false pretenses, and instead offers Sinn a large sum of money to act as a whore with Monet. This is the point at which Nica lost me completely with the feature - bad premise and ill-thought out resolution of storyline.
Pondering the big bucks offer, Sinn returns home to her older girlfriend Puma Swede, who endorses the oddball arrangement on the condition that "it's okay if it's only for money". I found this logic absurd and annoying, and given Puma's poor acting skills, this next segment of the busty imported player having at it with superstar Sinn was strictly for the fans of "all-sex" cinema.
Finale has Monet returning home that night (fresh from humping Elexis), promising Nica she will pay her lots of attention in future. Doorbell rings loudly, and Nica introduces Sinn with a minimal set-up to the ensuing Sinn/Melissa clinch in bed. Video ends after the last orgasm is achieved by the two, and not a thing has been addressed let alone resolved: namely, Monet's still undiscovered infidelity (ongoing) with Elexis; why sleeping with a hot young stranger will rekindle the romance between Nica and Melissa; will Sinn Sage give up subsistence babysitting gigs and become a hooker; and what direction Melissa will take now that she's got the heady experience of "I humped SINN SAGE!" out of her system.
I don't expect real babies to show up in a porn film (I didn't even mind the fake baby Clint Eastwood foisted on us in American SNIPER for that matter, a ploy Paul Thomas used once successully in THE MASSEUSE if memory serves), but I did find the total avoidance of babysitting a dumb element in LESBIAN BABYSITTERS. Future story lines had better introduce some sort of familial backdrop (after all, there are plenty of lesbian parents out there) or this series is a bust.