Modern Family (TV Series)
Aunt Mommy (2012)
Jesse Tyler Ferguson: Mitchell Pritchett
Quotes
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Cameron Tucker : I'm playing a new drinking game. It's called "Every time I'm depressed, I take a drink."
Mitchell Pritchett : That game exists. It's called alcoholism.
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Phil Dunphy : [Walks in to Haley and Alex scrubbing the kitchen] Whoa. What's all this?
Haley Dunphy : Mom heard us say we were bored.
Phil Dunphy : Suckers.
Alex Dunphy : She heard us from *outside*!
Haley Dunphy : She has super good hearing, like a seeing eye dog. They have overdeveloped hearing to make up for the fact... wait, the dogs aren't blind. Wait, are they? No, that wouldn't make sense.
Alex Dunphy : [to Phil] You're right. If I wait long enough, she can get there by herself.
Phil Dunphy : [His cell phone rings] Quick, girls. Famous Danny from "Moonstruck". Aiello?
Mitchell Pritchett : Hey, Phil, I'm glad I caught ya.
Phil Dunphy : What's up?
Mitchell Pritchett : Uh, it's about Steven and Stefan. They want to see that house on Briar again.
Phil Dunphy : Really? I showed it to them five times. Last time we were there, I think they got mail.
Mitchell Pritchett : Yeah, well, that's why I'm calling. They hate upsetting people. Unless, of course, it's me. Then they don't mind waking me up at seven A.M., asking me to call you.
Phil Dunphy : It's no problem. I'm just hanging around. Kind of bored, really.
[Alex and Haley gasp]
Phil Dunphy : What?
[Gasps in realization]
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Claire Dunphy : Oh, wow. When was the last time we talked under a table?
Mitchell Pritchett : Dad and Gloria's wedding reception.