- Stella Zhau: Hi! I'm Stella Zhau, and now with our new student segment is Lincoln Loud, with a Royal Woods royal welcome.
- Lincoln Loud: Thanks, Stella.
- [the camera focuses on him being recorded]
- Lincoln Loud: I'm standing here with Charlie Uggo. That's French. Charlie just moved here from Tennessee.
- [He turns to Charlie]
- Lincoln Loud: Tell us, Charlie, what brought you and your family to Royal Woods?
- Charlie Uggo: Well, Lincoln...
- [Her voice fades as music begins to play]
- Charlie Uggo: ... and that's why we moved here.
- Lincoln Loud: That's a funny story.
- Charlie Uggo: My dad being out of work?
- Lincoln Loud: Before that.
- Charlie Uggo: The factory fire?
- Lincoln Loud: Yes.
- [Zach gives him a look of confusion, and everybody inside the school watches him on TV]
- Lincoln Loud: I have a butt pimple.
- [Zach gives him a facepalm]
- Lincoln Loud: It's sore to the touch. I wanted to pop it yesterday, but my sister said it wasn't ready.
- Liam Hunnicutt: I can't look away!
- Lincoln Loud: Butt pimple.
- [Everybody watches him as Charlie leaves the camera frame. A pop-up appears on the television that reads, Please stand by with the Action News Team on it]
- Lincoln Loud: Thanks for taking care of me, you guys. I can't believe I blew it with Charlie!
- Luna Loud: Come on, little bro. Don't hang your head!
- Leni Loud: Yeah, you can totally bounce back from this!
- Lincoln Loud: I don't know how that's possible.
- Luan Loud: Anything is possible when you have us.
- Lincoln Loud: You really think so?
- Luna Loud: We know so!
- Leni Loud: We're going to train you how to get the girl.
- Lincoln Loud: [He stands up and puts down his hot cocoa and blanket] You guys are the best!
- Luan Loud: We're going to turn you into a mean...
- Leni Loud: ...lean...
- Luna Loud: ...lady-killing machine!
- Lincoln Loud: Let's do this!
- [He begins imitating kung-fu moves with his sisters]