- Gabrielle: [after Gaby loses Mrs. Hammond's commission to Carlos' Rehab charity] Do you have any idea how much commission I stood to make from this lady?
- Carlos: Gaby...
- Gabrielle: Doris was my golden goose! I was fattening her up, and then you went and stole all her eggs, and - and, well, I don't know where this metaphor is going, but I am mad at you, Mister.
- Carlos: Gaby...
- Gabrielle: No, stop "Gaby-ing" me. I will not be "Gaby'ed"!
- Carlos: Look, where Doris puts her money is her decision. Tomorrow morning, 9:00, she's putting it here.
- Gabrielle: Okay, you don't have to be so smug just 'cause you're
- [gestures air quotes]
- Gabrielle: "doing charity"
- Carlos: No quotation marks! I'm actually doing charity. Helping people put their lives together.
- Gabrielle: And I'm helping people put their wardrobes together! Potato, Potahto.
- Carlos: I got to run to a meeting.
- Gabrielle: Now? We're in the middle of an argument.
- Carlos: Yeah, but it's no fun to argue when only one side is morally defensible. But you know what is fun? A little victory dance.
- [Carlos imitates a dance beat and does his victory dance, ending with a slap on his behind]
- Gabrielle: [When having dinner with Doris Hammond and Carlos, as Carlos is explaining his work] Okay, if we're going to talk about charity, I'll make coffee - we're going to need it.
- Gabrielle: [after Carlos slips Mrs. Hammond a pamphlet about the rehab center, Mrs. Hammond returns her purchases to a somewhat bewildered Gaby] He did what now?
- Doris Hammond: We talked on the phone this morning and he reminded me of what my husband use to say "Those who do well must also do good"