Scenes from a Marriage (TV Mini Series)

Tåredalen (1973)

Liv Ullmann: Marianne

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Quotes 

• Marianne : [reading from her therapy journal]  I've never led a dramatic life. I have no gift for that sort of thing. But for the first time I feel excited by the prospect of finding out exactly what I want to do in life. In the snug world Johan and I lived in, taking everything for granted, there is an implied cruelty and brutality that frightens me more and more when I think back on it.

• Marianne : I've been thinking about this all this time. About having sex with you. I've been longing for you. But after you leave, I'd be left with my longing, and I don't want that. Don't you realize I'm in love with you? Sometimes I hate you for what you did to me. Sometimes I don't think of you for hours, and it's heaven. I have everything I could want. I have my friends, even lovers. There's the kids and my job that I enjoy and am good at. Yet I'm bound to you. I don't know why. Maybe I'm a masochist, or the kind of woman who can only ever love one man. I don't know. It's so hard, Johan. I don't want to live with anyone but you. Other men bore me. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, or blackmail you emotionally. I'm just telling you how I feel. That's why I can't bear you kissing me and making love to me. I can't explain it any other way. Because you'll walk away, and I'll be left longing for you. I've sort of enjoyed having you at a distance. So let's keep our hands to ourselves. You'll just leave me devastated.

• Marianne : You should know I think about you all the time. Wondering if you're all right, or if you're afraid or lonely. Every day, several times a day, I wonder what I did to cause the breach between us. I know it's a childish way of thinking, but there you are. What did I do wrong?

• Marianne : [reading from her therapy journal]  The most momentous deception began at puberty. All my thoughts, feelings and actions revolved around sex. But this I never told my parents. Or anyone at all, for that matter. Being deceitful and secretive became second nature to me. My father wanted me to follow in his footsteps and become a lawyer. I dropped hints that I wanted to be an actress, or do something else in the world of theater. But they laughed at me. Since then I go on pretending, faking my relationships with others, with men, always putting on an act in a desperate attempt to please. I've never considered what I want, but only, 'What does he want me to want?' It's not unselfishness, as I used to believe. It's sheer cowardice. Even worse, it stems from my being ignorant of who I am.

• Marianne : You spoke earlier about loneliness. That bit about being strong on your own. I don't believe in your gospel of isolation. I think it's a sign of weakness.

• Johan : What's wrong, Marianne?

  Marianne : It's so humiliating.

  Johan : What's humiliating?

  Marianne : I think about you... and I think about myself and about the future. I can't see how you're going to cope without me. Sometimes I think in desperation, "I must look after Johan. He's my responsibility. It's up to me to make sure he's all right. That's the only way my life will be worthwhile." I don't believe people are strong all on their own. You have to have someone's hand to hold.

• Johan : I'm still in love with you.

  Marianne : Why say that when it isn't true?

  Johan : Don't you think I've longed for you? I have. We were good together. We were friends. We had fun. If we feel like having sex, why shouldn't we? It only shows we still long for each other. Why have all these reservations? Why worry about tomorrow?

  Marianne : [He continues kissing her, until she pushes him away]  No, Johan. Johan, I don't want to. I want you to stop it! I don't want to pine and weep and long for you. Please understand. This is really how it is. It's no good. If you're going to persist, you might as well leave. I don't want to sleep with you. Please try to understand.

  Johan : I'm trying to understand, but I can't.

• Johan : Are you angry with me?

  Marianne : I'm not angry, but I'm on the verge of tears. The trouble with me is that I can't get angry. I wish that for once in my life I could really lose my temper, as I sometimes feel I have every right to. I think it would change my life.

• Marianne : [reading from Paula's letter]  "Johan is the gentlest, kindest, most affectionate person I've ever met. He has no self-confidence at all, though he tries to put up a brave and cheerful front."

  Johan : You can say anything about anyone. It always fits in some respect.

• Marianne : [reading from her therapy journal]  The trappings of security come at a high price: the constant erosion of your personality.

• Johan : I don't really care where I live. To me, every domicile is only temporary. Security must come from within.

  Marianne : Does yours?

• Marianne : [reading from her therapy journal]  In a flash I see what kind of person I would have been had I never allowed myself to be brainwashed. And I wonder whether I'm hopelessly lost, whether the potential for joy that was innate in me is dead, or whether it merely lies dormant and can be awakened.