- Leona Lansing: Moses and Jesus are playing golf. Moses steps up to the tee and hits a beautiful shot 250 yards straight down the middle of the fairway. Jesus steps up to the tee and hooks the ball into the trees. Jesus looks up into the heavens, raises his arms, and suddenly the sky darkens. A thunder clap rings out, rain pours down, and a stream rises among the trees. The golf ball floating on top finds its way into the mouth of a fish. Then a bird flies down and takes the fish and the ball out over the green, drops it in the cup for a hole-in-one. Jesus turns to Moses with a satisfied grin, and Moses says, 'Look. You wanna play golf or you wanna fuck around?'
- Will McAvoy: This is News Night and that was a clip of Richard Clarke, former counterterrorism chief to President George W. Bush, testifying before Congress on March 24, 2004. Americans liked that moment. I liked that moment. Adults should hold themselves accountable for failure. And so tonight I'm beginning this newscast by joining Mr. Clarke in apologizing to the American people for our failure. The failure of this program during the time I've been in charge of it to successfully inform and educate the American electorate. Let me be clear that I don't apologize on behalf of all broadcast journalists, nor do all broadcast journalists owe an apology. I speak for myself. I was an accomplice to a slow and repeated and unacknowledged and unamended train wreck of failures that have brought us to now. I'm a leader in an industry that miscalled election results, hyped up terror scares, ginned up controversy, and failed to report on tectonic shifts in our country. From the collapse of the financial system to the truths about how strong we are to the dangers we actually face. I'm a leader in an industry that misdirected your attention with the dexterity of Harry Houdini while sending hundreds of thousands of our bravest young men and women off to war without due diligence. The reason we failed isn't a mystery. We took a dive for the ratings. In the infancy of mass communications, the Columbus and Magellan of broadcast journalism, William Paley and David Sarnoff, went down to Washington to cut a deal with Congress. Congress would allow the fledgling networks free use of taxpayer-owned airwaves in exchange for one public service. That public service would be one hour of air time set aside every night for informational broadcasting, or what we now call the evening news. Congress, unable to anticipate the enormous capacity television would have to deliver consumers to advertisers, failed to include in its deal the one requirement that would have changed our national discourse immeasurably for the better. Congress forgot to add that under no circumstances could there be paid advertising during informational broadcasting. They forgot to say that taxpayers will give you the airwaves for free and for 23 hours a day you should make a profit, but for one hour a night you work for us. And now those network newscasts, anchored through history by honest-to-God newsmen with names like Murrow and Reasoner and Huntley and Brinkley and Buckley and Cronkite and Rather and Russert - Now they have to compete with the likes of me. A cable anchor who's in the exact same business as the producers of Jersey Shore. And that business was good to us, News Night is quitting that business right now. It might come as a surprise to you that some of history's greatest American journalists are working right now, exceptional minds with years of experience and an unshakeable devotion to reporting the news. But these voices are a small minority now and they don't stand a chance against the circus when the circus comes to town. They're overmatched. I'm quitting the circus and switching teams. I'm going with the guys who are getting creamed. I'm moved that they still think they can win and I hope they can teach me a thing or two. From this moment on, we'll be deciding what goes on our air and how it's presented to you based on the simple truth that nothing is more important to a democracy than a well-informed electorate. We'll endeavor to put information in a broader context because we know that very little news is born at the moment it comes across our wire. We'll be the champion of facts and the mortal enemy of innuendo, speculation, hyperbole, and nonsense. We're not waiters in a restaurant serving you the stories you asked for just the way you like them prepared. Nor are we computers dispensing only the facts because news is only useful in the context of humanity. I'll make no effort to subdue my personal opinions. I will make every effort to expose you to informed opinions that are different from my own. You may ask who are we to make these decisions. We are Mackenzie McHale and myself. Miss McHale is our executive producer. She marshals the resources of over 100 reporters, producers, analysts, technicians, and her credentials are readily available. I'm News Night's managing editor and make the final decision on everything seen and heard on this program. Who are we to make these decisions? We're the media elite.
- Will McAvoy: Sharron Angle's angry because the press is reporting what she says to the press. The statement goes on; "We needed to have the press to be our friend. We wanted them to ask the questions we want to answer". Do not laugh, I felt the exact same way about the bar exam.
- Control Room: Rounds of laughter from people inside the control room.
- MacKenzie McHale: Whoa! Will just made a joke.
- Leona Lansing: You know Charlie, a lot of people might argue that Will is on a witch hunt.
- Charlie Skinner: And a lot of people might argue there are witches out there.
- Charlie Skinner: Reese, the newsroom became a courtroom because I felt the American public needed a fucking lawyer.
- Elliot Hirsch: You got three choices. One: Get back together with Maggie so you can be the regular prick that I like, and not the bonus prick I've been getting for the past week. Two: Don't get back together with Maggie, and get over it. Three: You are fired. Choose.
- Mackenzie MacHale: You're going on a date with a cheerleader?
- Will McAvoy: Not a high school cheerleader, a professional cheerleader.
- Mackenzie MacHale: That doesn't make it better!
- Will McAvoy: Can I help you?
- Mackenzie MacHale: She's a student!
- Will McAvoy: A graduate student.
- Mackenzie MacHale: In philosophy?
- Will McAvoy: Physical therapy.
- Mackenzie MacHale: There are better ways to get back at me.
- Will McAvoy: I'll put up a suggestion box.
- Mackenzie MacHale: Can I warn you about something? You're a rich and famous person, and for that reason only, she may want to sleep with you.
- Will McAvoy: That didn't sound like something that should come with a warning, that sounded like something that should come with balloons.
- Mackenzie MacHale: I loathe you right now.
- Will McAvoy: You have ink on your face.
- Mackenzie MacHale: I WORK WITH PENS!
- Will McAvoy: Get a grip.
- Mackenzie MacHale: Yeah! I know!
- Bryce Delancy: [about him, a Republican, co-sponsoring a bill with a Democrat] Once you're elected, you have a duty to work with other people who have been elected. My friends across the aisle have been elected.
- Will McAvoy: Back in 1968, when Rennie Davis and Hayden and their guys organized the SDS, it was specifically to end the Vietnam War, but that movement got eaten by Abbie Hoffman and Jerry Rubin and he Yippies.
- Charlie Skinner: Hoffman and Rubin were a lot more charismatic.
- Will McAvoy: Yeah, but it was impossible to define what the Yippies were protesting! They were about giving the finger to anyone over 30, generically hating the American establishment, dropping out and getting high.
- Charlie Skinner: And?
- Will McAvoy: That's how the Progressive Movement would be painted for the next 40 years. People passing out daisies to soldiers and trying to levitate The Pentagon.
- Charlie Skinner: I was there, that damn near worked!
- Will McAvoy: No it didn't. The Pentagon is a really big building, you can't levitate it.
- Leona Lansing: Let's start over. And this time, disabuse yourself of the idea that this is a conversation between equals, where I make an argument, you make a counter-argument, and we both agree to disagree.
- Maggie Jordan: I want to say something to you that's inappropriate, insubordinate, and grounds for termination. You could give Mac a break and have the women meet you at the restaurant.
- Will McAvoy: That was inappropriate and insubordinate, but I don't care.
- Maggie Jordan: Thank you.
- Will McAvoy: You should know, your head's up your ass.
- Leona Lansing: Well, last night the voters ousted 21% of congress including seven members of the House Sub-committee on Communications and Technology. Three of those seven are AWM's most reliable friends on the Hill. The congressmen that will be replacing them are the same people that Will has been making look like fucking morons for the last six months.
- Charlie Skinner: They've done a pretty good job making themselves look like morons.
- Charlie Skinner: Reese, why don't you give us a minute.
- Leona Lansing: He can stay.
- Charlie Skinner: Reese get the fuck out.
- Maggie Jordan: I never knew what the word smug meant until I met you.
- Jim Harper: You're 26 and you didn't know what the word smug meant until this year?
- Maggie Jordan: Right there.