- June Colburn: Celeste, Tori, Margaret and I memorized every episode. Do you know how awesome it would be if I called them up and told them that James was doing a reunion show? It's been a while since I've had some good news. I've lost the job that I've moved to New York for, I broke up with my fiance... Why won't James do this for me?
- [shakes her head]
- Mark Reynolds: June, if it's that important to you, talk to him about it. When you get passionate about something, you're hard to stop.
- [warily:]
- Mark Reynolds: Remember your whole thing against yellow raisins?
- June Colburn: [ferociously] Albino abominations of nature!
- Mark Reynolds: Hey, hey, you convinced me, okay? I'm convinced! June, you got crazy eyes!
- June Colburn: [rowboat burning on lake] I can't believe we're at James Van Der Beek's funeral.
- [shakes her head]
- Chloe: James Van Der Beek's Viking funeral in Central Park, June. Don't under-describe the awesomeness.
- Luther Wilson: Just how illegal is this?
- Chloe: About as illegal as that panda-fat eye cream you use.
- June Colburn: [to Luther] You use panda on your face?
- Chloe: Luther is seventy-six years old.
- Luther Wilson: Shut. Up. Bitch.
- Chloe: [back from fashion show] I love it when the models fall!
- James Van Der Beek: They're like giraffes collapsing in the jungle.
- Chloe: Good work, marbles.
- [puts can back on shelf]
- June Colburn: [James had been receiving letters from rest of Dawson's Creek main cast] You've been writing fake letters every year?
- Chloe: Yeah, see, I've even used the same pen to sign all three names. I spelled 'Holmes' wrong. I should really try harder.
- June Colburn: Why did you do that?
- Chloe: When James gets to turn down Katie, Michelle and Josh every year, it makes him feel really powerful, and on that day, I can ask him for anything in the world, and he won't refuse me. Just like Don Corleone on the day of his daughter's wedding in The Godfather.
- June Colburn: [voiceover, as she walks down the street] What does Chloe know anyway? She doesn't even watch TV. She just punches it when she's drunk.
- June Colburn: My life was better ten years ago.
- James Van Der Beek: My life was better ten years ago.
- Chloe: Oh, my God, are we at a blues bar in Chicago? Are we watching an old lady run for the bus? Are we listening to a cab driver talk about "I was a dentist back in Pakistan"? Because you people are depressing the hell out of me!
- Luther Wilson: [to James] I think you should call Katie first. I love her! I've gone as her for the past eight Halloweens.