Criminal Minds (TV Series)

Divining Rod (2012)

Kirsten Vangsness: Penelope Garcia

Quotes 

• Penelope Garcia : Oh, hey, guys. Hey. I just wanted to see what was going on. Hi, hello.

  Emily Prentiss : This better be important, Garcia.

  Penelope Garcia : Oh, it's nothing. It's just that a messenger came by the office today with some papers from escrow!

  Emily Prentiss : No!

  Penelope Garcia : Oh, yes. The house in Dupont Circle. You got it! Woo!

  Aaron Hotchner : Congratulations!

  David Rossi : [sees Prentiss's smile fade]  Six seconds. Fastest case of buyer's remorse ever.

• Emily Prentiss : [calling, line picks up automatically]  Garcia? Garica. Hey, are you awake?

  Penelope Garcia : [wakes up from sleeping on her chair]  Oh, my God! I'm so awake! It's 2.30 in the morning. This is when I hit my stride. I am awake right now. I'm lying, I fell asleep. What do you need?

• Derek Morgan : What do we got, baby girl?

  Penelope Garcia : Thank you, sir. We have a killing in Enid, Oklahoma, and not the capital punishment one you are thinking of right now. I'm talking about a woman named Cara Smith, who was murdered in her apartment minutes after the execution of Rodney Garrett.

  Aaron Hotchner : A neighbor saw her front door open and discovered the body.

  David Rossi : Look familiar?

  Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau : Young, pretty, short blonde hair.

  David Rossi : And stabbed directly through the heart.

  Dr. Spencer Reid : That's exactly the way Garrett killed his victims.

  Derek Morgan : So are we looking at a copycat?

  Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau : Or someone creating doubt the right person was executed.

  David Rossi : In Garrett's case, there was no doubt. His guilt was the slam dunk of all slam dunks. Prints, DNA, a confession.

  Dr. Spencer Reid : He even led police to where he buried two of his victims.

  Emily Prentiss : Garrett killed twenty-five women before he was caught. If this new unsub is a copycat, body count's just started.

• Emily Prentiss : [browsing through mail Garrett received in prison]  Get a load of this one. "Dear Mr. Garrett, it took a lot of courage to do what you did. Most people are cowards and don't do what they feel inside them. You are an inspiration, and I applaud you."

  [scoffs] 

  Emily Prentiss : "I applaud you."

  David Rossi : These are supposed to be the non-wacko letters.

  Penelope Garcia : Hey, guess what? JJ's genius has struck again. That hunch about the hair was right. I'm sending you an ATM image of Cara Smith. She's the first victim. This was taken ten hours before her murder. Check it.

  Detective Childers : The unsub cut her hair, too.

  Dr. Spencer Reid : You know, there could be a sexual element involved. Trichophilia is a fetish where one becomes aroused by the removal of hair.

  Derek Morgan : Well either way, it's starting to look less like a copycat. The unsub's deviating too much from Garrett's M.O. Garrett never took trophies.

• Derek Morgan : Hey, say it like you mean it, baby.

  Penelope Garcia : Yon know, I'm gonna. So, if you look in the dictionary, the word "normal," you will see Cara Smith. College student, uh, well-liked, straight A's, English lit. major. Ooo, speaking of which, I just got a transcript of Rodney Garrett's last words, hot off the press - and a gold star to the first person who can identify the source of this: "She comes like fullest moon on happy night. Taper of waist..."

  Dr. Spencer Reid : "... With shape of magic might." It's from The Thousand and One Nights. Not the exact translation that I would have used, but it's got its own merits.

  Emily Prentiss : And in a shocking non-upset, we have a winner.

  David Rossi : Garrett was sixth-grade dropout, an unlikely guy to be quoting from a Harvard Classic.