Brad Jones: Cinema Snob

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Cinema Snob : OK... you know... this is the first time I'm gonna do this, but... you don't *have* to watch this video. I... I *had* to watch this movie. That's-that's just what I do, but you... you have a choice... and remember I had no warnings in front of "Nekromantik", "Pink Flamingos" or "Salò", but this one... if at any time you feel the need to shut this off... good! Good! Bravo! You've taken the high road. Me? Not so much! I watched... this whole... fucking movie! This whole... movie and don't give me that hipster douchey attitude of "Oh, Snob, it wasn't that bad. I've seen far worse." No! No! It *is* that bad! It *is* that bad!

• Narrator : The story you are about to see is true.

  Cinema Snob : Yeah, like "Last House on the Left" true or "Amityville" true? Doesn't matter. Both bullshit.

• Cinema Snob : If you guessed that the next scene involves eating zits off someone's face, first of all, you're right and second of all, how the hell did you guess that? The scene doesn't have anything to do with anything!